I'll Be

In a moment of intensely emotional deposition, I sat down and spilled my heart into an entry here. So much so that I could feel the week's worth of burgeoning hurt, angst, heartache and frustrations rising up, like bile in the throat. Writing that entry was so cleansing and deeply personal, it felt like I shoved a hand down my throat to fling all that I've been feeling and thinking onto the screen. Much to my embarrassment, I ended the entry in tears. I decided to save it as a draft because that post is way too intimate and personal for public reading. But it felt really, really refreshing, and I feel lighter now.

The only thing that made me happy this week : Shahril! called me from wherever he was in the world and we had a good good gooooood catching up. He's coming back for a month around middle October and I seriously can't wait to see him.

It's been so long since I had encountered feelings and emotions like these that amusingly, I've forgotten what and how I'm supposed to react. Apparently I've forgotten how sharp it hurts sometimes too, at night.