oh so its back.

what the hell.

IS THIS THING TOYING WITH ME?

FUCK AND DOUBLE FUCK.

I had too much time on my hands and just HAD TO GO FIDDLE with my html.

now my haloscan is gone.
!@#$%^^&(*&^%$#@ !

If somebody is such a DARLING to help me whack it back in shape, rest assured i will be eternally grateful.

HINT HINT AND BIGGER HINTS.

pretty please. (=

msg me for the username & password.

Satisfied.

Celebrated Yvonne's belated sixteenth at Kbox yesterday. A fabulous time would be a gross understatement. i ve never felt happier or more at high. There were tons of laughters, heaps of wild screaming, loads of off-key singing/screaming/crooning, and of course, countless good ol' girlish giggles and shrieks.

Sometimes, what a girl needs is some plain ol' girlish undulated FUN. Complete with singing, chocolate and your bunch of crazy whacky best friends. The ultimate formula for any mood-lifter.

Joyce bought the cake from Bakerzin. It was a decadent confection of thick chocolate mousse, sinful chocolate crunchies + hazelnuts. One bite alone would put any months of dieting to complete waste.

Naturally, we lapped it all up.

Jumping on the couches, dancing on the tables, singing so loud our fellow Kbox neighbours were looking over. Wistfully, i might add. (=
It was pure fun. Time zoom by like it was on steroids. Handphones were left neglected, as we throw ourselves into the moment, ignoring everything that was happening outeld of the four peeling sound-proof walls of our room.
Ruefully, 6pm came. The stereo went silent on auto. Miffed that those lifeless machine were dampening our fun, we continued singing into mikes, ( fortunately, it wasnt on auto off ) with no music, just the blend our voices, speaking of our friendship, everlasting. One song turn to ten, ten turned to twenty. The people were curious how we kept on singing, we were a spectacle. But who cared? (=

It was the best time in ages. And we came out, promising that our next date would be on the 7th Oct. This time its Jasmin and yuting's sweet sixteenth.

Another day of fun and magic, Im alight with anticipation.

Thank you girls, for making this special (=

When you try to get everything that belongs to stay with you, it just ends up drifting even further away.

Like an endlessy frustrating Venn disgram, my circle of friends will never intercept. I'm so exhausted, fatigue is eating me from the inside. In the process of trying to stay with everyone, inevitably, you tend to neglect.

It so tiring, so tiring i dont even feel like writing in perfect English, and use complicated words and analogies to mess up with what i really wanted to say in the first place.

GUYS, im pleading with you. Im seriously really tired. I am. I cant take this anymore. I always wonder, carolyn, how did you prefected this precarious balancing act? With so many friends?

I screwed up with the friends i started Sec3 with. The people whom i opted to 37 for.
I screwed up with jiayi.
I screwed up with the seven girls. somehow or another, I did.
I screwed up with pris and everyone else.

I screwed everything that was once precious and dear to me.

In a word, Im screwed.
Somehow, i reckoned Lord is hinting that something ought to be done.

Im so tired, really so tired.
Sighs.


( Happy Birthday, yvonne. )

Smiles for hire.

$5 smiles : Your friends would be able to see through the facade in an instant.

$10 smiles : After moments, your buddies would be able to sense that something is amiss.

$15 smiles : Will fool the crowd, but not your best friends.

$20 smiles: Even your buddy has to take some time to deciper whats wrong.

$100 grins : Everybody will think that you're happy and dont have a problem with the world.

which is generally what we are all looking for, isnt it?

Now, who wants to hire a smile to paste on for the rest of the day? To hide behind this mask, giving you an absolute opaque facade, hiding you from the scutinzing of the society.

sounds tempting. (:

Without her hooker drag, she looked positively chic.
Hermes and Prada,
Savaltore and Vuitton.

Her clients would be surprised.

Finding refuge from the biting cold in a red phone booth, her clumsy fingers fumbled with the coin slot, her quivering interior hidden by a fashionably large Burberry trenchcoat, portraying to the society a confident female, beautiful and inditimating. This masquerade, so cleverly staged, fooling the passing world. No, you could not see her bloodshot eyes, hidden by Gucci sunglasses, oh no, you certainly could not decipher her bruises and cuts on her otherwise flawless complexion, Anna Sui took care of that.

Those coulture vipers would have been proud of their products.

The coin finally complied, slotting in neatly. Trembling, she dialled the numbers that were imprinted in her memory for so long. So long, she never thought that she would ever have to use it. But reality revealed its cruel side, mocking her and her fervent prayers every night, her pleads to the Lord were all in vain. Tears stung her already swollen eyes, her lips quivering. as she recalled what had happened, her cheeks flushed with intense humiliation just by the mere thought.

Finally, as though her recepient could sense her pain, and was saving her from further recollection of her ordeal, picked up the phone, rasping a hoarse hello.

"M...Max? It's time. "

If you're old and have the shakes,
If all your bones are full of aches,
If you can hardly walk at all,
If living drives you up the wall,
If you're a grump and full of spite,
If you're a human parasite,
THEN WHAT YOU NEED IS A WONKA-VITE!

Your eyes will shine, your hair will grow,
your face and skin will start to glow,
Your rotten teeth will all drop out,
and in their place new teeth will sprout.
Those rolls of fat around your hips,
will vanish, and your wrinkled lips
will get so soft and rosy-pink
That all the boys will smile and wink
and whisper secretly that this
is just the girl they want to kiss!
but wait! For that is not the most
important thing of which to boast.
Good Looks you'll have, we've told you so,
But looks arent eveything, you know.
each pill, as well, to you will give,
AN EXTRA TWENTY YEARS TO LIVE!
So come, old friends, and do whats right!
lets make our lives as bright as bright!
Lets take a dose of this delight!
This heavenly magic dynamite!
You can't go wrong, you must go right,
ITS WILLY WONKA'S WONKA-VITE!


hoho. (:
Amaths is doing this to me.

bloody shambles,
thats the state of my mathematically-declined mind when im welcomed home by a abhorrent pile of mathematics prelim practice papers.

BAH. ):


biology prelims practical was horrible.
i was traumatized, i may never look at a fish in the same way again.

some people never cease to amaze me, truly.

I was at woodlands library, picking out materials t keep me happy during the rainy days, when i overheard this conversation between an evergreen secondary school girl and presumably her boyfriend who is dressed in pink puremilk ( good lord, he must be mighty confident of his masculinity ) and jeans. his hair seemed t be frozen, with every possible strand defying the law of gravity. I believe that if I ever attempt to hover a balloon near his crown, the explosion might distrupt the serenity of the place. ( His significant other was no better, her eyes veiled by her unnaturally straight haair, it makes one wonder if its safe for her to walk alone without killing herself. )

but lets run along now,

girl : eh, this girl very chio hor?
( they were pouring over an old issue of seventeen )
boy : ok only la.
girl : ( pouting, shoves the boy lightly ) dont pretend la, she chio right?
boy : ( smirking ) where got you so chio?

[ for people who do not understand twits language, what he meant was , " She is not as pretty as you " ]

girl : ( trying hard not preen but failing miserably ) no la, talk cock ! dun anyhow say !
boy : really la! you so chio ! i sumpa...

[ sumpa apparently means swear ]

girl : [ smiling like a viper ] then i ask you horr, me or xiaoling more chio?

[ xiaoling should be a fellow friend of hers whose looks she was apparently jealous of ]

boy : you la !
girl : ( trying not to preen like a peacock but yet failing once again ) you anyhow say de! i where got chio-er then xiaoling?
boy : (nodding in earnest now) got ! got !
girl : ( her head looks almost too big for her now ) bluff !
boy : ( seemed to have given up ) ok lorr. bluff de.
girl : (smile vanished) really arh?
boy : aiyo, dont know la.
girl : ( a pout that would have made Ms.Jolie proud ) ok lor.

blessed silence descends upon my ears once more.

i wonder what was it that girl really wanted?
my condolences to her boyfriend.

if you play maple story, you will have an inkling about what im talking about.

amusing,
to see an adorable bambi-eyed female character in a land of cute axe-stumps and bouncy little mushrooms, ruining the pretty palette of innocence and whimsicality of the game by sprouting a coarse air bubble.

"chee bye la"
" dun ks la"
"tok cork"
"nt happi ask ppl beat me larz"

it seemed oddly out of place next t monsters who looked like my plushies standing on my table.

comic-relief, anyone?

happy birthday.

almost imperceptibly, it flickered out.
melted wax and pulpy frosting,
melded into unregconizable clumps,
dotted the surface of the redundantly fancy confection.

asleep, little cone cap knocked askew.
painstakingly arranged hair wrecked by hours gone by.
a palette of gloss and blush, defaced by tears.
comically tagic scene, does such makes.

a card, laced trimmed production of three days,
whsipers of sentiments and unwavering promises,
speaks of her faithful devotion
clutched in her hand,
an almost vice-like grip.

the kitchen clock strikes three
he arrived,
amid drunken laughters and helpless giggles.
key clumsily shoved into lock, twisting.
a solitary ray fell across the room
she woke up and blinked,
focusing, and taking in,
what stood on her beloved's doorstep.

he wasn't alone.

she knew, all along
his eyes burning the most delightful warmth
imprinting.
leaving a mark that cannot be seen
all the facade, all the pretense,
this superb act, marvelous preformance for the rest of the unaware world.
stripped away, bare in every sense
as they met each other eyes, boy to girl.

mesmerizing, captivating.
this one precious moment of beautiful magic,
was the refuge from the pain she seek.
chemistry and common sense, one confusing tangle.

a shout, distrupt this timeless bound
as both broke away from the spell that held them captive
without a word, without a sound
they slip back into thier masks, expressionless and brief
back to the routines of their lives,
back to their mutual ignorance,

their magic momentarily dies, however,
knowing and anticipating
thier next game of this inexplicable love.

after tuesday, macdonald's would finally stop its infernal playing of the national day's MTV over and over again.

BLESSED BE. (:

choice.

while she loves her cadbury and worries over what major to take,
her innocence painfully endearing.

another prowls the street, and spread her legs
her only worries are pregnancy and AIDs



you sympathise,
but do you empathise?

blessed be.

i was browsing through the msn contacts list and came across yuhan's msn nickname. thou it was nothing t marvel at, it was certainly something that struck me, to linger at that thought, playing with it in the hands of my mind.

to quote : its the simple things in life we forgot.

simple, no? i highly doubt this little cache comes unfamiliar t you. perhaps you have always dismiss it as one of those oxymoronic phrases, that brims with sentimental meanings, but doesnt strike a chord in your heart strings, one of those little jingle you find in perfume-laden giftshops, where you scour for those meaningful little gifts with meaningless purpose to give to strangers you dont really know. comphrehend, non?

alright, returning back to my issue. its the simplest things in life that we often take for granted, because its always there, so fixed, a presence in your everydays routine that you barely take significant notice of it. the subtle blessings of home, did it ever occur to you, somewhere out there, a teen exactly your age, might be wondering which park bench to sleep on tonight? which bench, will hide her from the cruelties of this harsh world, which ordinary wooden furniture would keep her from being raped during her slumber? Did it struck you, that at another corner of this world, another teenager is comtemplating which store would she nick an apple or pear from? which store manager is only half alert, so she could sneak an apple, to last her for the oncoming two days? did it dawned to you, that there are kids in this world who's parents dont appear at your doorway every ten minutes, to advise you to stop banging on your keyboard and start revising? and they dont tell you that your music is too loud? why? because they are busy getting drunk on the bottle, or too busy whoring the night away, to care for the welfare of their children.

did you?

to be continued-

homecoming

blogging has seriously becoming excruciatingly boring.

i made it a point not to speak so much of my personal life, as opposed to what i would like to share with you. things more in depth. but embarrassingly, i ve ran out of things i wish to talk about.

maybe im not really the blogging air-your-views-and-hang-your-dirty-laundry type.

But what if im here, whining about how my DNT folio is all screwed up and how im going to drop dead from all the stress and how my chemistry results totally suck, those inane superficial things that goes on in the daily rountines of my life, would you be interested?

OR would you much prefer i hang the class's dirty socks out to dry, reporting on who and who is hooking up or breaking up. who's the bitchiest skank in our class,how i totally cannot stand her, but ohgolly, you see me hanging out with her in school the very next day? in short, being no different to the aunties who hang around the wet market all day, fulfilling their part as a stereotypical old gossipy hag.

would you sit up straighter and soak in every juicy word?

if i would been writing a post, with a familiar name in every line, telling you what THEY ve been up to. would you then enter my blog as one of your favourites?

would you.

; hands in mine, into your icy blues.
and then i say to you,
we can take to the highway
with this truck of ammunition too.

trying.

somebody jst shoot me please.

rose-tinted glasses.

something's not right, knocked askew. This sense of consternation is tainting my concentration with disturbing black spots, ruining this perfectly painted, flawlessly glossed picture in my mind with dark slashes of disquiet & trepidation.

but WHAT ?


Fluff & whipped cream adorned the surface, everything was seemingly cotton candy sweet. Do i really have to bite the apple to discover the poison, a second too late? Hmming & hawing my way through this entry, my uncertainty is blatantly conspicuous. The alternate pathway down this road is to duck and wait, in anticipation for the explosion yet t come, with a bang, i might add.


If memory serves well, stirring up dispensable trouble is certainly my forte. Though its not something not exactly to flaunt about.


Lets all lay low together,




and wait.

being the lovely lovely person i am, i shall write another "normal" entry for qiaozhen's sake.
(:

t the two of you-

if you have really resolved all your misunderstandings & differences, then it makes me so happy t tell you that you all have made one of my sweet sixteenth wishes come true. (:

honest ;

(:


ughs, i feel sick. must be the cadbury diary milk i wolfed down tday.

SEE LA, SHAHRIL & QZ, NEVER STOP ME FROM BUYING. NOW IM NURSING A FUCKING FEVER. ALL YOU PEOPLE'S FAULT LA. SPOIL ME ROTTEN. (:

but i still love you both (:
<33s


JIAYI : MUG HARD! <33 shall be here, rooting you on, doll. (:




psssst : is this "normal" enough? (;

because of all of you who cant understand my posts, my use of vocab now stinks t high heaven. pouts- ):

hurry, feel sorry for me.
i do adore t be pampered. (: