Pass the pills, dear.

W turns 18 this staurday.

When all is done and the dust has settled, you take a pull of breath and think, "18 is a rather large number, isnt it?" Not long after 18 you will hit the coveted 2. But if you come to think about it, when all is said and done, 10 years is not a very long time. So 30 and its laugh lines comes skipping merrily along and before you know it, the big dreaded four oh is pressing upon you with its wrinkles and sagging assets. Voila, you are married, your figure turns convex in the middle instead of concave, you struggle with grass-munching toddlers and sullen teenagers, your husband is balding and has a belly the size of the gym ball you bought for pilates classes which you never have the time or energy to attend.


Life whips you around pretty fast.


One moment you are young and seventeen, your figure is blooming regardless of the amount of junk food you consume, and the biggest problem in your life is whether you are going to fail your A levels or if that pimple on your face is ever going to go away.
And another you are getting old and everything is going south and age-spotted, you eat salad and oatmeal not in an attempt to save your increasing dress size, but to prevent yourself from getting heart attacks and kidney failures. And the biggest problem in your life is, hang on, what biggest problem? All the problems I have are kinda crucial. Like losing my job to a wide eye freshie with a the same degree but with the looks of a beauty paegant finalist, losing my husband to a twenty dollars hooker simply because she looks good in fishnet stockings, losing my daughter because she's experimenting with marijuana and motorcycles, losing my house beacuse the mortgage is one big fuck.


Whoop-dee-doo.


Pretty soon, I will be 70, all aching backs and creaking bones. Living my life away watching reruns on television and eating multi-coloured pills to keep me alive while ironically, waiting for my death.


After hitting 30, its like the famous quote, "Its all downhill from here."


Lovely.
Enjoy 18, W, while you still can.