Tale DuJour

Jumping on the bandwagon

2007-10-18T16:02:00.002+08:00

(Rhon, I decided to take your advice.)

So this is goodbye.

MOVED. http://www.tzeee.livejournal.com
(Most of the entries in the new place are private.
Comment here for the password.
If I like you, I will tell you.)

It's been a long ride, and this is my 222nd entry.

Farewell, IJC

2007-10-12T22:59:00.000+08:00

IJ, you've been damn good.Today was the last day of school.

Although technically there is an excess of consultations and extra lessons the week after and thus there was a lack of nostalgia in the air, I still felt that as the very last day of my JC school life and also, the very last day in which I enjoy the paraphernalia of structured schooling (timetables, classrooms, uniforms, etc) for the rest of my miserable life, I might as well go out with a bang.

Hello there, the people I spent the majority of my two years in IJC. (:

Two years sound short, but we've all changed rather dramatically, be it in physical, mental or interactive terms. Regardless of what has happened and the damage/memories made, nevertheless, y'all have made certain things exclusively our private jokes, certain conversations unforgettable, and a hell lot of times into memories. In the most cliche way but still from the bottom of my heart, thks fr th mmrs!

Hello there, ELEVENS (:

It was one hell of a IJC ride with all you crazy kids, and I know for certain I will definitely be hanging out with most of you again. The very essence of the class, we are so goddamn sexy hello! Cheers to Adventure Camp, Inter-House Tournament, Christmas 2006, I@Fun, morning basketball, College Sports Days, Basketball Finals and all the birthdays we rocked.

Hello, Team IJC (:

It's been insane fun with you girls. Exhausting trainings and spectacular falls, we've been through them all. And not forgetting, the camp and ADivs 2007 where we came so close and yet so far. Thank you for Siying's KNNBCCB, Lisda's kick-ass defending, Katherine's multiple injuries, Merelda's "OHMYGOD!"s, Rhonda's spectacular shots and Yiwen's signature splits. All the love!

And Hellooooo, 0623A, the most kick-ass class in IJC.

It's funny how we all managed to go through so much stuff in a short span of two years. All the fights/quarrels/tears/confrontations, I get breathless thinking about it. But somehow or another, we managed to pull through each and every time. Granted, some of us might not have grown very emotionally attached to the class, but given all the things that we have gone through, I'm sure you've at least given a tiny part of yourself to the class. And I think I better stop before I sound like Hallmark. Whatever it is, it was a damn awesome two years with this class, cheers!

So it's the end of JC life and 0623A.

No more early morning runs with Kah Lai.
No more beef noodles, Joyce.
No more long chats in the toilet with Flora.
No more looking at SwuJuan trying her very best to seduce Lisda.
No more sudden yells, RuiShan.
No more fruits from the nice auntie, Khairyn.
No more marveling at Selene's piano skills in SR1.
No more stupid photos with Eileen.
No more "Shit! I lost my water bottle AGAIN!" from Lisda.
No more trying to force Cindy to start sleeping at night instead of studying.
No more seeing Nescafe on Weechen's desk.
No more chatting with WeiMing during Math tutorials.
No more chocolates from Bentink.

And it's always these small inconspicuous quirks and habits that I will miss the most.

On the same Mission, J

2007-10-10T10:37:00.000+08:00

You know that you obviously do not know how to play the game when your best shot at us was to run to a teacher whining to her, to put it nicely, that "we've been affecting you a lot with the things we've been saying." Honey, that was phased out back in Primary 3 when we were still wearing singlets under our uniforms.

Putting aside the fact that on the day shit happens on you, both of us were conspiciously, glaringly, apparently, saliently (any more paraphrases yo) absent from school, I, no, WE don't really care about matters regarding you, in case you didn't notice for the past 2 years.

Joyce sang this song to the perfect pitch, hitting all the right notes. Go take a look to get a better picture.

My one last petty, chilidish, stooping-right-down-to-your-level shot before Farewell Assembly : At least I've a seat.

2007-10-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

I'm rather lazy for wordy recounts, so here goes my weekend in absolute conciseness:

Jasmin's 18th = Rooftop dining + brooding waiter + warm clammy heat + too much awfullychocolate cake + helium balloons + laughing ourselves sick + kick-ass ambiance + the same familiar love.

Happy birthday, lovely.

Saturday dinner with Bestf at Brecko's, HollandV and ended up at 2am Dessert Bar where I got to know new fascinating people.

You know it meant a lot that you bothered to meet me up so you can tell me about you-know-what!
xoxo!

So it was HollandV two consecutive days for the final dose of ultimate undeserved self-indulgence before this last month of intensive examination preparations. Chemistry tuition today had my tutor sweating over a single Organic Chemistry question for an hour. It sort of gives you a new perspective on how you might crash, burn and die in the actual exam, so thanks, I really needed that cheerful thought to keep me going this last lap.

In Joyce's words, "Get the TZE on yo!"

Because everything changes, but its such a pity to fall out now, after so many things that we've gone through together, I thought we were made of stronger stuff. But life knocks you around sometimes, and you find yourself with unexpected circumstances and people. Whatever it is, hopefully we can thrash it out after As, because I said it before, y'all made it real for me the past one plus year, let it not end this way.

White Flag

2007-09-29T08:22:00.001+08:00

To Lai Lai-

It is indeed, a sweet start to a bitter end.

I give up.

I'll Be

2007-09-19T16:02:00.001+08:00

In a moment of intensely emotional deposition, I sat down and spilled my heart into an entry here. So much so that I could feel the week's worth of burgeoning hurt, angst, heartache and frustrations rising up, like bile in the throat. Writing that entry was so cleansing and deeply personal, it felt like I shoved a hand down my throat to fling all that I've been feeling and thinking onto the screen. Much to my embarrassment, I ended the entry in tears. I decided to save it as a draft because that post is way too intimate and personal for public reading. But it felt really, really refreshing, and I feel lighter now.

The only thing that made me happy this week : Shahril! called me from wherever he was in the world and we had a good good gooooood catching up. He's coming back for a month around middle October and I seriously can't wait to see him.

It's been so long since I had encountered feelings and emotions like these that amusingly, I've forgotten what and how I'm supposed to react. Apparently I've forgotten how sharp it hurts sometimes too, at night.

Belting out sunlight shimmering <3

2007-09-17T18:57:00.000+08:00

So she said what's the problem baby,
what's the problem I don't know
well maybe I'm in love,
think about it everytime I think about it
can't stop thinkin' bout it.

P & L: I love both you girls long long time, thanks for being there for me in the dead of the night.

I'm sneaking this post from Vonne's laptop over at Republic Poly as I overlook her Lifesaving training going on in the pool right now. I hope she doesn't kamikazie from one end of the pool to another wayward end without any ounce of direction again. The last time she did it, she blamed it on the lack of lights. (Excuses)

The view from my seat is rather winning. I can see the tanned boys streaking across the pool and the muscled ones scaling up the rock wall in the adventure course further away.

(I secretly cannot wait for XW's party this weekend because although it's the month of Ramadan, you-know-who will be going! MAJORRR. :) )

Tomorrow's Lit paper and I only got myself rather thoroughly accquainted with Raju, I need to go spend some time with the Duchess now. Ciao.

Two more days!

How much longer will it take to cure this
just to cure it cause I can't ignore it if it's love
makes me wanna turn around and face me bt I don't know nothing 'bout love...

Home Alone I

2007-09-15T09:12:00.000+08:00

My parents are jetting off to good ol' Bangkok (read: second home) for four days, and for the first time, without my brother and I in tow.

My father: ectastic because he can finally visit Buddhist temples and random places which he could never in the past because we were supremely disinterested and expressively whiny about it.
My mother : glum because she lost her best shopping partner.

My brother: secretly excited because he gets unlimited freedom, which is a tad scary if you think what four days of post-exams liberation without parental presence can do to a sixteen-year-old boy, considering my parents are taking the internet access cable along with them, hence no WarCraft to ground him at home.

Sadly, it makes little difference to me because I am still in the midst of Prelims II and what else can I do but study? The worst I can do is study till very late hours, but still, I'm studying.

Pffah, pathetic.

But I hope they have a safe flight and a satisfactory time.

You got to try this...

2007-09-13T13:48:00.000+08:00

The Impossible Quiz

I got this off from WeiMing and I cannot believe its sheer entertainment value.

With the combined forces of me and my brother and a whole tub of Haagen Dazs, we only managed until Qn.50 before it got us slumping on the table and moaning defeat.

It takes a hell lot out of you but damn, it's so addictive! (:

Attempt only when you've absolutely nothing else of importance to do.

She made my day

2007-09-09T12:51:00.000+08:00

You know you've the bestestEST Bestf anywhere around when you've been moody and in a depressed funk of late, and she surprised you by cabbing down to your place at midnight with a box of homemade cookies baked by the love herself, and gives you the kind of hug that makes you feel infinitely better, at least for the moment.

Nothing works like chocolate comfort and the Bestf's love.

Shouting out love from the centre of the world

2007-09-05T00:44:00.001+08:00

I ain't got no Visa
I ain't got no Red American Express
We can't go nowhere exotic
It don't matter 'cause I'm the one that loves you best

Cedele with bestf was absolute therapy. It felt so fucking good just to spend time with her again, I have no grace in trying to express my happiness. I'm just glad we're throughly updated on each others' lives. Damn, nothing comes close to the feel-good I get from yakking with her, seriously. Love from the bottom of my <3

And,

We, or rather, bestf accompanied me down to Yishun to surprise Lisda at her birthday dinner with her secondary schoolmates. The place was so remote and tucked away that the cab driver had difficulty trying to locate it. Fortunately, Khairyn spotted us in the cab zooming past and she called me. Yeah, don't ask me how she managed to recognize me in a passing cab but she did, thankfully. The birthday girl was satisfactorily surprised by me, so all was worth it.

Just a few, no, A LOT of her favorite things from all over SG. After she is through consuming them, I am going to buy her a weighing scale. (HAHAHA) So for the 123456789th time, Happy 18th Lis. Enjoy the hamper with generosity aye? It was made with much love, brain-wrecking, and exorbitant MRT fees.

Not feeling very cheerful at the moment, it's been a quite some time since I felt this way at night.
(I don't know what is it you want from me, can you please tell me what do you actually want? Goddamn.)
EMO shit manzxzxzx.

Good night, people.

Meme III

2007-09-03T18:26:00.000+08:00

The rules are as follows:

If you are tagged, you need to write an entry related to the meme. At the end of your entry you just need to tag as many person as you like. You will then leave a comment in their blog to let them know they have been tagged.

Please copy and paste this rule somewhere in your entry.

1. A person is only as good as what he/she is to you when you're fat/ugly/broke/controversial.

2. Friendship is always about unconditional acceptance and comfortable silences.

3. To love is to invest throughly and entirely, even when the stock prices might free-fall at any given time.

4. Money makes me broke, ironically.

5. I miss MOS Burger, green-skittles-on-the-MRT-bench, exchanging-knowing-looks-and-bursting-into-giggles secondary school everydays with bestf.

6. My way of saying I care is never as eloquent as the words I say to those I don't.

7. I try to spread love and happiness by doing a little here and there every day.

8. Pick the flowers if you have someone you love enough to give it to.

9. To love someone is hell......and heaven concomitantly.

10. Beauty is money.

11. When I was thirteen, what I remember the most was my disastrous individual school photo that nobody have ever seen, fortunately.

12. When I was twenty one, I remember I don't know yet but I sure as hell won't forget it when it's over.

13. I am most happy when I get something or someone to look forward to.

14. Nothing makes me happier than unexpected sweet little gestures and actions from the people that matter.

15. If I can change one thing, I will change the direct relationship between the amount we consume and the weight we put on into an inverse one.

16. If smiles were expensive then I think I would be effing poor.

17. Wouldn't it be nice if we could stay encapsulated at 18 forever?

18. If you want to be accepted then you have to first accept yourself.

19. Money is not everything but it sure as hell can buy me most of it.

20. The most touching moments I have experienced is when you waited for me at the bridge in the park at 11pm and sang me that special song.

21. I smile when I think about November 16th and all the plans we have after that.

22. When I am happy, I grin like a moron...and I can't stop.

23. If only I don't have to care about the future, then i can be living life the way I want to live right now.

24. The best thing I did yesterday was to the 3 hours long chat into the wee morning hour with bestf.

25. If I ever write a book, I will give it this title, Banned and controversial. (Reverse psychology works yo.)

26. One thing I must do before I die is to have the most kick-ass marriage to the the man who can still give me butterflies in my stomach even after our 50th Anniversary.

27. Doing this meme, I am putting off reality for awhile.

P.S Today was wonderfully spent. (:

Big Girls Don't Cry

2007-08-31T18:26:00.001+08:00

We brought too much food for the party, and too little batteries for the cameras. I dig SwuJuan's basketball style today, the last time to Roc Your Body 23A! is over. And I officially lost my mind this afternoon. (What the hell were you thinking, Tze)

Swimming with the girls later.

This gaping hole

2007-08-26T22:43:00.000+08:00

"I don't want the world to see me,
because I don't think the world understands."

I'm feeling uncharacteristically melancholic at the moment. The luxury of time to think about matters of the heart is rather depressing.

Feel for a 1am phone call and an old friend's comfortable silence.
The top of the playground's slide,
you take one side of the earphones and I will take the other.
The world can sleep while our B&J melts beside.
Tonight.

(But you're all the way at the other side of the world, living out life the way you said you would. It's one exciting country to another, but do you miss home and us you left behind? Because I miss you, Ril. I really do. )

I need your comfortable presence and how you will never judge me on why I did the things I did now. You will understand, you always do.

On replay

2007-08-23T22:56:00.000+08:00

Who doesn't long for someone to hold,
who knows how to love you without being told.
Somebody tell me why am I on my own,
if there's a somebody for everyone.

Sell me candy

2007-08-18T16:34:00.001+08:00

It was a long week that flew by, (how oxymoronic I know) but my brain feels raped with all the impending and past mock exams and essays and assignments and prep talks that I think I've temporarily lost the ability for coherence. Pardon me, but this entry is going to be in a very higgledly-piggedly manner.

Mock exams are the flavors of the week. It was Math to Chemistry to General Paper to another huge-ass Math mock which was so impossible to do that it got my girls seeking solace in Burger King right after. Call it the binge-therapy theory, why not.

Everyone agrees I'm turning yellow. My mother is seriously considering a medical check-up and my father thinks I'm bulimic. @#$%^! this is getting out of hand.

Economics seminar was totally useless, all the Economics teachers from IJC zao-ed during the tea reception. We obediently followed suit. Dammit, my four dollars and not even anything from the tea reception. Ecnomics students hungry kids. So it was IMM with Lai Lai, Cindy, Bentink and Weechen. That was surprisingly very enjoyable.
(Lai Lai, we have to track down that Thai place and don't tell anyone so nobody will form bloody queues. PINEAPPLE FRIED RICE OMGZXZX!)

The bloody rain is ridiculous.

And I realize someone rather entertaining is spamming our class blog. Any idea who this Cheryl person is and why is she calling us chicken-byes? What is a chicken-bye anyway?

No more for now, I found an awesome site selling the most gorgeous dresses at the most orgasmic prices I AM OFF BABY.

P.S Joyce I saw a bright pink car today and I secretly named it after you.

Raindrops keep falling on my head

2007-08-08T04:06:00.000+08:00

It's 3.32 am and I can't get to sleep.

Moments like these when you think about randoms, staring at the single dot of light on your air-conditioner. I thought about the talk I had with Mom in the jacuzzi five hours ago, and how she lost complete contact with her best friend from her girlish days. She told me how they used to be inseparable, and how her best friend would only board the bus if she saw my mother's waving hand out of the rear window every morning to school. Now they have lost complete contact, my mother tried calling, but it seems like she changed her mobile number. I saw that wistful look on her face in the pool, she thought it was too dark for me to notice.

I thought about the frenzied studying taking place, the cramming of concepts and formulas in which we will hold and only finally regurgitating when November disembark-- and promptly forgetting everything once that three hours are up. The vehement fight to park one's behind safely into a local institution to only begin on another vicious pursuit for yet another spot in firms and companies, in another word, to seek for a job, which will undoubtedly evolve inexorably into life's typical hamster's wheel, we, the hamsters running and never ending, for the money, it's always about the money. When will it not be about money?

I thought about friends, the all-consuming center of our teenage years. The friends from secondary classes, the friends from netball, the friends from junior college. Friends so vastly different from one another, but somehow or another, we always end up with the same problems that rock the boat. I thought about being 18 and what it heralds, all the vices that defines this generation's hip factor? I don't fancy the number 8 much though, 8 feels like its near the end, two more numbers and you end a chapter in life, mate. And as so many say, this is the best chapter I will ever live.

I thought about National day and the theme song this year. They seem to lose the flavor of a national song steadily every year. What every happened to good old hearty "We are Singapore, we are Singapore. We will stand together to hear the lion roar."? I remember churning it out gustily when I was a kid, and thinking childishly that we've got the best national day song in the whole wide world.

I thought about love, and why it is so much harder to forgive love than to forgive hate. Somewhere in a book, I came across this line "The one who holds the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least." Apt, rather. People rant about living in a society full of facades and masquerades, but they never stop to think how necessary it is, this form of self-protection. Emotional investments has heavy costs and if any, uncertain returns.

I thought about the scene in the flick Men in Black, in which both of them opened a locker and realized an entire world is living inside, and how the scene expanded to show that their world is only another tiny locker in a bigger universe.

I have funny thoughts.

Its 4.53 am, another day beckons.

So it tells me

2007-08-04T20:25:00.000+08:00

Friendster Horoscope for August 4,

2007

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)

The Bottom Line

Go ahead and socialize with that new person. It will be interesting for you both.

In Detail

Try not to be too suspicious of someone who has been paying a lot of attention to you lately. Why are you doubting that they are genuinely interested in you? There are no strings attached, so stop worrying. It makes perfect sense that they would want to get to know you better, so why don't you let them? Drop your guard just a little bit and let them in. Go ahead, and socialize with them. It will be very interesting and illuminating for you both.

It's almost as if it knows.

The (Un)said

2007-08-02T21:53:00.001+08:00

Please give me strength. I (desperately) need to be strong enough to tide over these few months and I'm (not) just referring to my studies. (I'm sorry that) I'm just not steady enough in so many aspects in my messed up life. (I'm sorry that) I've been neglecting and have been neglected by people who matters most to me. (I hate it that) I allow myself to be affected by them, because it just means that I (stupidly) let myself be vulnerable (again). I (hate myself for) being played a fool, and permitting myself to be used (over and over again). I feel so much contempt for my weakness, that I think I'm brimming with self-loathing.

I'm (not) strong enough. All I want to do is break down and cry.

EH LEE!

2007-07-29T22:31:00.000+08:00

Eils, you and me are going to do midnight studying and then go for prata and satay because we are going to totally deserve it after frying our brain cells over Econs and Chemistry aye! I know it sucks to see people around you having the drive except you, and I can relate. But please remember that you are going to enter NUS with me next year to see the boys and break their hearts okay! Anyway, we haven't been talking for ages and you should be ashamed of yourself, GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER WOMAN. I want the dirrrty, sordid details soon!

(AND PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME SOMETHING INTERESTING THAN GO OFFLINE IMMEDIATELY OKAY. I will hunt you down and kill you. )

Crunch time

2007-07-28T18:32:00.000+08:00

As of Friday, 27th July, I got my hair cut. A long long time overdue.

And on other significantly more mundane topics, I studied like a cow for this entire week. A Levels is less than a hundred days away, it finally hit me and hard. (took me long enough) My results from Prelim 1 is, to put it nicely, revolting. No more mere triviality and such, it's time to get to the grind and STUDAYYYYE.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

2007-07-22T19:14:00.001+08:00

It laid in my lap, a delicious weight.

I held it up, surprisingly light and compact for all the enormity of its contents that lay beyond the first three pages. A sense of surreal crept over me. It's just a book, paper and ink, but it's also so much more, so very much more.

I started reading the first of the series in Primary six, a wee age of 12, at the threshold of adolescence. And now, I stand at the cusp of my teenage hood at 18, and I'm about to come to and end of my Harry Potter journey.

It's fitting, somehow.

When I wrote this entry, I have not flipped to the first chapter yet. The only text that I've picked off from the book is the front blurb and the back page about Rowling. Like a highly anticipated gift, I was reluctant to jump straight into the story, having wait for close to two years for this moment, I felt it deserve more ceremony. It doesn't seem right to just read off the bat without savoring the pre moments of finally possessing it and finally, finally knowing. I fingered the heavy gold embossed texture of the letters on the cover, the anticipation and longing is overwhelming.

I know I sound like a psychotic cult geekfan but when it comes to this particular bespectacled boy and his world, I'm not ashamed to say that is exactly what I am. Those who had the fortune to lose themselves thoroughly and completely in this amazing realm created by Rowling can empathize with me, I'm sure.

The reason why I'm writing this is because I want to remember this delicious feeling of blessed unknowing before entering the story. I want it written down in black and white, in indelible words so that I will be able to remember this sense of trembling anticipation, like moments before embarking on that trip you've been longing to go all your life, especially during the inevitable post-ending depression that will come when I finally put down the book.

See you 603 pages later.

Who Ever Loved, that Loved not at First Sight?

2007-07-20T20:47:00.001+08:00

(This poem by Christopher Marlowe is one of my favorite favorite absolute loved to death poem of all time)

It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overruled by fate.
When two are stripped, long 'ere the course begin,
We wish that one should love, the other win;
And one especially we do affect
Of two gold ingots, like in each respect:
The reason no man knows, let it suffice,
What we behold is censured by our eyes
Where both deliberate, the love is slight:
Who ever loved, that loved not at first sight?

I did a rather thorough blog-hopping just now, and in a decidedly untypical manner, made myself read each and every of my friends' blogs, be it the interesting, the intellectual, the mundane, the narcissistic or the incoherent mess type. And oh! I was so very tickled by the intensely dramatically tragic manner which some tend to express themselves in. Lines like:

"You ripped open my heart and left only scars that cannot heal."
"I built a wall around my heart, only to have you tear it down again."
"My tears and my blood shed to win your love."
"You got me in so deep, I am utterly lost without your smile, your touch, your presence."
"The scars you inflicted gets deeper with each passing second I think about you."

And I could've gone on and on and on! Tsk, we girls are emotional creatures aye. You would think they fancy themselves as young Danielle Steels(whose books I LOATHE by the way) of some sort, from that mushy heartbroken tone they compose their thoughts in. When you stand in an objective stance and think, we teenagers are really a very angsty lot, with emotions to burn, don't you think?

Surreal

2007-07-17T16:26:00.000+08:00

So here I am, in the college's library, around me are shelves after shelves crammed filled with academic texts of diverse subjects, stacks of old examination papers and resources. Everyone else is bent over their thick books, terrified about the nearing prelims 2 that is a disgustingly short two months away, and I am deeply intensely engrossed in...

...playing online mahjong on Yahoo with WeiMing and Flora.

I ought to be smacked, I think.

Princess of the day/ Edited

2007-07-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

(This is one entry that I should turn to whenever I start feeling neglected or unloved.)

Because my loveliest friends make 18 such a sweeeeeeet age to live, celebrate and love. To do justice to their love, I'm not going to skimp on the details and try my very best to pen down my thanks and everything else that made my 18th birthday such a banging terrific affair.

THANK YOU to my sevens for Saturday night at Cafe Cartel, roses, the gorgeous heart-shaped poster, endless laughters, shrieking that drew glares from other patrons, the cheesecake that was supposed to be sold out and tolerating my "ok-i-don't-care-the-next-one-sure-funny-one!" lameass jokes and for just making me laugh like never before again.

THANK YOU to my dearest KG, the oldest gang of gal pals I have ever had. With them, I never felt the need to pretend to be someone I'm not, or to say something I don't mean. I love the familiar support and wordless understanding they never fail to provide during the toughest of times. Thank you for the wonderful day at Sentosa, where we are all reaping the painful consequences now, the carefully planned games, the insane entertainment that you girls effortlessly inject, the Warehouse gift card, the birthday cheesecake (again HAHA), the lovely long bus ride home and just all the heart-to-hearts in between.

THANK YOU my favorite people in 23A. I am....rendered speechless by your gift, honestly. I don't know what to say, thank you don't seemed to be enough. I LOVE LOVE LOVE it, I love that y'all spent so much love and time on it, I love it that you noticed every little inconspicuous quirks and habits of mine and put a little of eveything into the gift, and I am absolutely CRAZY over the DIYed photo album, it made me smiled so hard when I looked at it. Lis, Ryn, Flor and Ming- you make JC life frickin' awesome, y'all are absolutely irreplaceable.

(I know I'm gushing and it's sickening, but OMG I REALLY REALLY DO ADORE THIS SO MUCH!)

(Because we didn't managed to take a photo today, I had to use an old one. )

(And Joyce babe, I think your sexy-butt bubble man is out of this world too! Heheh)

THANK YOU (although I've a good mind not to for the month you put me through) to bestf who intentionally ignored me for an entire month in order to make sure I am properly convinced that she has totally forgotten about my birthday and my existence, and calling up my classmates who happily went along with her ( *coughs*Lisda*coughs*Eileen*coughs*) and finally giving me the shock of my life when I see her standing in my school canteen today, grinning like a fool. Thank you for the gorgeous DIYed collage, the Cedele cupcake, but most of all, finally catching up over dinner with my family and being a proper bestf again. You are the perfect end to a perfect birthday, love.

THANK YOU to the lovely netball girls (and Shaowen) for the Royce bitterdark and card. It was unexpected and such a pleasant afterbirthday surprise. But knowing my disgustingly undisciplined weakness for gourmet dark chocolates, I will probably put on a good 2kils. So thanks and no thanks girls. I do miss our giggly fun and trainings, ya think Clayton will consent for us to participate in Pesta Sukan 07? :D

THANK YOU(or maybe not) to the rest of the Elevens for the insane I'm-not-too-sure-how-many-inches-but-it-looks-scary-as-hell high heels, which I so know I'm going to either fall on my ass trying to walk in them or kill myself walking down the stairs, whichever comes first. Yes, thanks alot girls, y'all secretly hate me right. Pfffah. But seriously, it's gorgeous and I love it!

And of course, not forgetting those who remembered. To those who called/smsed/emailed/wished me in school/blogs, cheers! You played a bit in making this lady's 18th an absolutely fabulous one that she will never forget. They say you should celebrate your 18th with a bang, I never did expected to but it did. I'm the happiest girl today, thanks to all of you dearest loves.

XOXOXO and my heartfelt annoyingly repeated thanks,
18 years old and still kicking! Tze

In my previous entry I said...

2007-07-05T23:41:00.000+08:00

"the last GSS shopping spree on Thursday (I'm going to haul MAJOR ass),"

...which I did, with a passion. I think I ran up a record on Mummy's Visa.

(IT FELT FUCKING FANTASTIC.)

Mom said that the ridiculously extravagant shopping spree today, together with my new contact lenses, is my 18th birthday gift. It is by far, the most awesome, the best one I've ever received. The haul, coupled with a good good GOOD bonding session with motherdearest today makes it perfect. We talked about everything under the sun and everything that isn't. Okay, maybe gossip would've been a better word. Sometimes, I think my mother is a insane, giggly, teenager stuck in a mother's body. Sometimes we sound so alike it scares me.

But all in all, I DID hauled major ass, and somemore. The afterglow is still tingling, I swear. (:

(Funny how so many people I know happened to be in town today and Orchard Road is apparently big enough that we did not bump into each other at all. )

And, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MERELDA!

<3!

Interlude,so very brief

2007-07-02T07:59:00.001+08:00

The past week lumbered heavily by with an armload of exams of which I am supremely confident of flunking at least 2 of them. Pfffah, to think I gave up my social life in the June break for naught, it's rankles the hell out of me.

The papers were both physically and mentally draining. Funnily enough, don't you think, it being physically exhausting when the only exertion was parking my ass on the chair and barely lifting a finger to scribble. But yeah, it was.

On a much much very much lighter note, I'm rewarding myself undeservingly after my last paper on Tuesday.
MoviesmoviesMOVIES! that have been loooong overdue on Wednesday,
the last GSS shopping spree on Thursday (I'm going to haul MAJOR ass),
meeting up with the dearest 7s (at frickin' last) on Saturday and
SENOTOSA BABY! with KG the next day.

And comes Monday, which is probably the only day in the entire 365 heap that is worth your utmost attention.
(HEH)

Narcissism aside, I really really really don't want to get back any of my papers and face the bitch of a reality. ):

P.S This is a little late but you da shiiiat, Khairyn A! Full marks babe! <3!

Have your bloody car and eat it too

2007-06-23T17:17:00.000+08:00

This what I call culinary genius.

Aftermath

2007-06-20T20:18:00.001+08:00

THANK YOU (:
to the surpisingly large number of brave souls who gave the test an honest shot. It doesn't matter whether you've gotten a 40 or a 100, I'm not going to discard you as a friend just because you didn't make the passing grade so please stop chewing my ass off regarding the 'How-The-Hell-Am-I-Supposed-To-Know-The-Color-Of-Your-Room-When
-I-Didn't-Even-Go-To-Your-House' issue pretty please?

But I have to say, I'm admittedly both pleasantly surprised and proud of Lisda and WeiMing for your high scores. Bangin' job, both of you. It's a waste that the only time you guys drop by my place, the wall was indeed lavender. But it got repainted at the end of last year, so that's too bad. Don't grumble about that 10 marks anymore Lis, you've always liked 9 better anyway. (: And Ming, much as you like to perceive me as a sexually-obsessed maniac, there are other things that I am hooked on that isn't carnal. (HAHA)

(Shaowen, I know you got full marks but you did humbly admit that you didn't know the answers to 3 of the questions and that luck got you through! Haha but nevertheless, well done!At least you got 7 right, which is more that what most of the rest can rightfully claim. Heh.)

But any any any way! It's still a terrific job, all of you. Regardless of the 20s, 30s, 40s and so on, your low score might just be the perfect excuse to meet up more often anyhow! :D

Please give it a shot....

2007-06-17T10:47:00.001+08:00

...regardless of the familiarity of our relationship even if you're just my brother's girlfriend's bestfriend's cousin's older brother's pet goldfish, ( in which you will probably fail miserably) but you get my drift.

Create your own Friend Test here

Toodles!

To Pris

2007-06-14T21:36:00.002+08:00

Bestfriend, what happened to us. Something feels wrong.
(I miss you, alot)

A Meme!

2007-06-09T08:35:00.001+08:00

Merelda tagged me with this meme!
(And yes, doll. I do miss the bitchings, OH, the bitchings! Lord, we are a couple of hopeless bitchqueens! Your tagboard really do suck balls, it rejected all of my tags! Jeez. Bloody thing isn't good for my self-esteem, I swear.)

Rules of the game:
Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tagbacks!

(I think I did something of this sort before, so pardon me if you see the same weird habits appearing again.)

1. I cannot sleep beyond 9am. Even on weekends or in the aftermath of an exhausting day, my body jolts awake before 9am. Without fail. There's once I woke up with a certainty I might have finally breached the 9am routine, and I peered at my mobile and it says 9:01. Bah.

2. I detest mayonnaise and tartar sauce. Detest as in, if you ever trick me into consuming something with mayo or tartar sauce I will be very, very ticked off and not speak to you for perhaps the rest of the day.

3. I HATE KFC, in capital letters.

4. I've never watched a horror flick/TV show until now. Never ever, and not ever planning to. My friends tricked me into the theater showing some horror flick once, when I found out, I walked, or rather, hightailed out of the room before the opening credits.

5. I love collecting slick, gorgeous shopping paper bags. It's got to be paper.

6. I want to try out relationships with guys of other races and religions before ever settling down. I have a insanely deep preference for Malay Muslim boys please! Ask my elevens, they know. HEH.

7. I am an impulsive shopper. Hence the thousand and one items in my wardrobe that I have not worn even once.

8. I very much prefer to sit in the front seats on public buses, the kind where four seats are grouped together facing each other, the one facing the driver. Color me unglamorous, but I like to streeeeetch my legs.

9. I find it amusing to be sitting here, wrecking my brains to dig out 10 weird habits about myself.

10. I realized I'm fresh out, so here are the six people :
#1. Eileen
#2. Melissa (Chan)
#3. Joyce (Chai)
#4. Carolyn (No more excuses for bad fillers!)
#5. Wei Ming
#6. Yvonne (who in turn, can tag the rest of kgang)

Till next time,
Tze

Etiquette 101

2007-06-06T20:09:00.001+08:00

Ladies, you do not spread your legs wide apart when devouring, of all fruits, a banana. It's rather inappropriate, in more ways than one.

I miss Joyce. Can't you tell?
(HAHAHA)

A Teaser

2007-06-04T17:42:00.001+08:00

Sunshine after the rain. (:
Everything is A-okay now. But still, it was a bloody terrible rain to begin with, more like a huge ass storm. But water under the proverbial bridge and all, let's move on to pleasant weather.

My brother chose the perfect time to snooze in my room, with the curtains shut tight and forbade me to switch on any form of lights, so I can't see nuts on what I'm actually writing so I'm going to do this long overdue ode/tribute to IJC netball team and the players some other time when I'm not half-blind.

INNOVA NETBALL HOLLA!

(Shit I realized I'm not going to see my classmates for about three weeks and that suck balls. )

(Not) Strong Enough

2007-06-01T07:29:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: If you can't take the words, leave. I'm going through a rough patch now, I don't need your indignation over words I wrote in the foulest of moods. If you are going to judge me on this entry, you might as well stop thinking that you understand me in any wee bit.

Be Strong.
(Today is ironically, my parents' 21st Anniversary)

It's tragically funny how you only realize the extent of your own tenacity in moments so adverse, you thought you might just literally come apart, but yet somehow, you managed to pull through, for just another day. Because you know you got to be strong, sane and steady, nobody else is.

(Go Tze Go.)

I realize I need a friend at this period. Desperately. Not the kind that are all words and nothing else. I have no need for comforting placation now, I have no need for a solitary text message expressing concern, because it's so damn easy to text the words and press send. No sweat off your nose, no charge to your bill. You only lifted your finger to help, literally. 10 cents is what I could've easily spared to any stranger on the street, much less a friend. No "I-will-be-there-for-yous" bullshit when you're in reality, actually a good distance away. And don't get your panties in a bunch, this is not a jab to anyone in particular, but just an overall generalization.

(No, I'm not referring to you.)

I need the kind of friend I used to have in secondary school, the kind that took a cab down because I needed him, the kind that lent me a shoulder to sob on, mucus and all, without flinching, without hesitation. The kind who sat silently next to me when I wallowed in my misery like a self-centered bitch, without any exchange of words, but just this quiet silence and his/her mere presence for me to draw strength, comfort, friendship from. Because sometimes, all we need is just a tangible form of solace. Something real, not a message in a phone, not little testimonials in Friendster, not a dismissive comment on Haloscan. Not these little technological conveniences created that debases the genuine flavor of friendship. No, call me, spare the time to hear me out, or listen to me wail. Find me, give me a hug and tell me in person everything will be alright, squeeze my shoulders and tell me to stay strong. Otherwise, it's alright thanks, but no thanks.

(You are probably thinking right now, "She has plenty of friends that will be there for her. I won't be able to make a difference.". Funny how every single one of you think alike, don't you think?)

Fuck it all, everything is in a royal mess. The world can kiss my ass and go screw a rat.

Taken from Boys like Girls - Learning To Fall

2007-05-30T05:46:00.000+08:00

"Today's the day,
the worst day of my life."

Apt.

Jack be nimble,

2007-05-25T21:55:00.000+08:00

Jack be quick
Jack jumped over
the candlestick!

Jack jumped high
Jack jumped low
Jack jumped over
and burned his toe!

It's the last day of school, you hang up your brain when you leave the class.

I hate to spoil the fun but...

2007-05-24T19:24:00.001+08:00

Dearest Tze,

YOU'VE GOT TO LOSE SOME SERIOUS WEIGHT YOU FAT ASS.

Love,
Your guilty conscience.

Cheesy love

2007-05-23T05:46:00.000+08:00

MY BOOTSCOOTIN' BABY
IS DRIVIN' ME CRAZY
MY OBSESSION FROM A WESTERN
MY DANCE FLOOR DATE
MY RODEO ROMEO
A COWBOY GOD FROM HEAD TO TOE
WANNA MAKE YOU MINE
BETTER GET IN LINE
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!

This little ditty makes me inexplicably happy and bouncy, like a spring in the steps, a goofy grin on the face, and the random yelling out "FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT!" in the middle of the street, in toobloodyearly6am when nobody else's cheerfulness is fully awakened yet.

Bite me

2007-05-19T20:46:00.000+08:00

It was the college Sports Day yesterday.

1.The Aquila house lost spectacularly.

2.I am thoroughly disgusted by our unworthily titled house captain and her appalling lack of responsibility...among other things.

3.Kahlai ran like a hero, did you a favor by running in the Past Vs Present relay although she was fucking exhausted and YOU (YES YOU BITCH) intentionally left out her name in your gushes of thanks. And don't even get me started on the issue with Lis. You sicken me, really.

4.Khairyn and Cindy secretly made my day during the Tug-of-War.

5.The highlight of the entire shindig was the inter-house cheer-leading competition.

The merciless weather and constant hollering left me with a high fever and a terrible throat now. I've been comatose for the better parts of today and only managed to drag my fat ass up now to dash off this entry due to the compelling urge to declare my despise for that woman.

P.S GP Prelim was, within an inch of doubt, screwed beyond compare.

This Ironic Deceit

2007-05-15T22:35:00.000+08:00

I realized GP in the JC syllabus is all about teaching you how to present yourself in a politically correct manner, talking in smooth circles without contradicting yourself but yet not really holding on to any certain viewpoint at any given point of time. You swing back and forth with felicitous expressions, (in other words, unnecessarily perplexing phrases for the sake of sounding sophisticated when in actual fact you really know shit about what you're saying) and you concede and differ but only to a certain extent.

Give a strongly opinionated stand on a certain matter, you will probably achieve a mediocre grade, because they say your scope isn't broad enough, but But BUT! assert on one point and yet deliberately find mistakes in it, (they call it evaluating), and you will most certainly get an A, or at least a C if you're grammatically challenged.

What politics, what propaganda!Isn't this a delightful fun, this game of intentional ambiguity!

Kiss my candid ass, you pretentious bitch of a subject. No wonder nobody can stand up firmly to their own principles nowadays when we are being taught in school to be promiscuous little wimps.

Let's Bake

2007-05-10T21:46:00.001+08:00

There's is something annoyingly wrong with Blogger, posting entries suddenly became nuclear physics, seriously. The inclination to switch to LJ is rapidly intensifying with every passing second in which Blogger stubbornly refuses to make my life any easier.

To put in a succint and tres uncouth manner : NABEI BLOGGER LET ME BLOG LAH FUCKER. @#$%KNNCCB

(That was secretly extremely satisfying.)

Firefly, can I have a light?

2007-05-06T17:16:00.000+08:00

Along the way,
That's where I'm supposed to be.
Along the way,
In the spaces in between.
I find my place in the middle of tomorrow and yesterday,
If you're going there,
look for me along the way.

What Could've Been (and never will be)

2007-05-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

For some abysmally stupid reason, I found PJC's netball blog and randomly clicked on the personal blogs of the players, only to read over and over again, in different versions, that joyous high they experienced when they won us by 3 points.

How they shed tears, and how they truly felt like a team at that very moment. And how they felt that all their grueling trainings were worth it for that moment when the umpire blew her whistle. How they jumped, and how they screamed. How they won IJC even though they were trailing initially.

And how all that could've been written by us instead, by me, Merelda, Sling, Rhonda, and Siying, in our blogs instead of theirs. But no, three points, three fucking points.

Funny, I just can't bring myself to share their joy.

No Guts, No Glory

2007-04-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow's match just quadrupled itself in terms of importance, due to the disgustingly played match by us on Wednesday. But water under the bridge, no use crying over split milk and all that cliche mantras aside, let's focus intensively and more importantly, positively, on this final chance against PJC.

C'mon team, we didn't suffer through all the bloody fifteen seconds sprints around the court, doing quickfeet like engernizer bunnies on steroids, gritting and bearing with all the squats that got us screaming bloody murder in the aftermath, for NOTHING. We know we got what it takes, and all that is hindering in this leap to second round is our defeated mentality that we've already blew it. I know losing to MJC was heart wrenchingly wasted, and a definite should-not. But the score is up and their lucky win has already became an irrefutable fact. So let's all cut the what-ifs and haul major ass tomorrow. It's down to this one match, where we either make it or break it. And if we keep reviving the previous game in our minds, we are going to bloody break it. So let's all forget about MJC and psych ourselves up to triumph tomorrow.

Team IJC netball, let's go all out.

(It's unfunnily ironic that the one major game that decides the fates of both schools, it's me against Yuhan, whom I've played along for four years back in secondary school. Fate is making my life one big fucking taiwanese drama serial. Han, dear ol' ex-teammate, may the best team win. (: )

Aye, can't you tell I'm incoherently nervous. blabbering my way into a nonsensically naggy entry. Fuck, I'm going to shut up and go to bed now. Toodles.

Joyce's Mom is Fucking Cool

2007-04-21T15:56:00.000+08:00

Joyce: "Mom, I think you can forget it, the teachers take a long time with the parents. Nobody's going to return any sooner."
Her Mom: "No, we're parking here. Get out."

When I grow up, I want to be just like her Mom.

For What Its Worth

2007-04-18T22:16:00.001+08:00

I think people who take personality quizzes and cheat by deliberately choosing answers that will result in their personal ideal characteristic type and then, express surprise in the "oh!I didntknowIwasactuallyoptimistic/sociallyactive/extrovertedbutIguessIam!" kind of way are bringing the term stupidity to an entirely whole new level.

I Need Skinny Jeans

2007-04-14T13:33:00.001+08:00

Friendly match against ACS (Itnl) on Monday, and I have this ridiculous but nonetheless genuine fear that their whole team is teeming with towering, big boned Xena-lookalikes who devour players like me for breakfast. Oh get a grip, why don't I.

Tournament dates for competitive sports are looming closer and closer, and the pressure is intensifying with each passing day. The tension seem to have permeated the entire school, with hockey, basketball and netball tournaments being held over the next two weeks or so. Planning to skip lessons to provide vocal support for Ryn during one of her hockey matches and for KL and Cin during one of their basketball matches. I know I know, disgraceful Block test results and I still subject myself to truancy, but hey, it's the last year to compete in tournaments for everyone. After this, there won't be any 'nextyears' or 'nexttimes'. Cost-benefit analysis and all that shit, I figured I could afford to miss out on a few lessons.

And on an utterly random note, free Ben&Jerry ice cream cone at their outlets for everyone next Tuesday, for those who don't know. They are commemorating something or another, I'm not sure what though, but whatthehey, you know that is not what's important anyway.

Enough already, I need to pee badly.
Tata!

(I know pleading exhaustion is not a valid excuse not to send Ril off on his year long course trip around the States yesterday. It's a bit incredulous to think I won't be hearing his colorful speech and feeling his rock steady presence for an entire year. I'm sorry that I wasn't there yesterday, bro, at whichever port you will be reading this right now. Have fun, stay safe and miss us.)

This Blank Canvas

2007-04-11T17:26:00.000+08:00

School days are hectic, and there isn't any inclination of a ceasing in speed and intensity. But during those little pockets of moments in all the rush, where the whirlwind of madness lapse for a tiny window of time, I feel like an empty shell of a person, going through the rigors life seems to be flinging delightfully in my face, not feeling much. Or rather, suppressing everything inside, because there is simply no time to confront my emotions or my thoughts. The random spark of anger, spurt of joy or tug of misery, my heart acknowledges, but the mind does not. It's always "I will think about this later" or "It's just simply not worth it to rehash all this now" or "I can't afford the fuss thinking about this will bring me."

They tell me to savor life, experience the bittersweet and delve into every emotion felt, to embrace all with open arms. Right now, those arms are loaded with responsibilities, assignments, worries and duties. I find myself dismissing the matters of the heart aside, to clench my teeth and bear it, or to take a deep breathe and hide it. Expression is a luxury, and facades became a necessity. Sad, I know.

I'm jaded enough to know some things are trivial and are just not worth investing time and effort to brood over, but sometimes, I just wish to reclaim the prerogative of a flighty irresponsible and dreamy fourteen year old schoolgirl, and sulk over the smallest pettiest things, and having someone to pacify me and make me feel better about myself. It's a female thing, I guess.

Enough about me. Somebody once told me, chocolate cures everything. I'm going to see if the theory works now. If anyone of you happen to be reading this, do tell me to hang in there, won't you? I can really use your encouragements right now.

"If you are going to walk on thin ice you might as well dance."

Good Friday

2007-04-06T10:07:00.000+08:00

We watch the season pull up its own stakes, 
And catch the last weekend of the last week, 
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced. 
Another sun soaked season fades away.

I'll ride on your high

2007-04-01T10:35:00.000+08:00

Wanna Ride

2007-03-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

I tried to be clever and took a swing at Livejournal. But yeah, you get the picture, there's a reason why you still see me here. Techno whiz kid, I am not. The weekend is thankfully here. Two short days and an unreasonable heap of assignments, oh joy.

(Shout out to Bestie for clearing her major papers to proceed on with her second semester. Way to go, babe! Can't wait to see you tomorrow.)

The weather is hell on my throat, it's getting worse with every swallow. It's been a chemistry day and now my head is spinning with funny little shapes and the letter C and H. I think I'm quite deprived of Zs, so adieu for now, larlings.

Anyway, updates now will look more and more abrupt, so I beg your intellectual pardon. The essays I have to write is weaning me of all my vocabulary creativity.
.
.
.
.
ELLA SE LUCE POR QUE LA VEA
EAH EAH EAH,
SE MENEA SE MENEA,
BAILANDO TE RODEA!

This is the song that has been given a free rein round my head right now, pfffft. I swear I'm bleeping haunted by the addictive beat of the song.

Alright alright I'm off.

Can you read my mind

2007-03-24T23:12:00.000+08:00

The good old days
The honest man
The restless heart
The promised land
A subtle kiss that no one sees
A broken wrist and a big trapeze

The teenage queen
The loaded gun
The drop dead dream
The chosen one
A southern drawl
A world unseen
A city wall and a trampoline

Kill the Karma

2007-03-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

All it takes are a few of your oldest girlfriends, steaming espresso and cheesecakes, the wrenchingly familiar warmth from them to seek refuge from the torrent of evening rain, to end a fucked up day with a smile. Thanks girls.

I'm having a crisis of the heart lately, and I am utterly disgusted with myself. Rational thinking seem to escape me and acting on impulses brought near-catastrophic results. (Fine, I am exaggerating but still!) But it's all over and behind me now, and its going to stay there. My mind is a dangerous place, I swear. It shouldn't be without supervision.

After all that I've seen and heard this week, nothing seem to surprise me anymore. Just through your words and hers and his and everyone else's', my jaded points just went up a few notches. Things I've never knew, from people I thought I knew. Rose tinted glasses, my ass. The lady's views on many things took a drastically sharp turn, and you realize how you've been protected by your own naivety from the pragmatism of love and it's implications.

The world's a crazy crazy place, and we are all caught up in its screaming whirlwind ride. Hang on tight, it's going to be a rough and bumpy one. Want a hitch?

Because I'm the motherfucking PRINCESS.

2007-03-07T22:06:00.000+08:00

I've got a dark alley and a bad idea that says YOU.

And it's five random lines today:
1. I've been shopping myself mad at Marks&Spencer's frequently, buying their insanely sinful cookies for the people around me. Yes, even the pesky little brother.
2. Fixtures for A divisions are out. We're up against Hwa Chong Institute, Pioneer JC, and Meridan JC. Yuhan, we shall meet soon.
3. Godiva's truffles are the SHIT.
4. Happy belated birthday, bestfriend. I LOVE YOU and Holland V soon, baby.
5. Desperate Housewives is back, more horny middle-aged women and random sex on a lonely Monday night for deprived moi.

I cannot seem to write anything of intellectual substance these days, forgive me.

Have the cake and eat it too

2007-03-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

The weekend is filled with events that somehow involves EATING, one way or another. And what's worse is the fact that there is no time that can be squeezed out to hit the gym. I swear I'm going to pack on the pounds over these two days. Bloody hell.

Monday comes, Tzemin runs.

Lipstick Stains on your Pillow

2007-02-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

Monday's many rounds around the track and post-training whines and gripes about Tuesday.
Tuesday's hunger pangs with my girls from the start till the end.
Wednesday's numbingly cold lecture hall, and Hazie's bitchin' annoying helium squeaks. ("So Flora and SiMin I want to see you all at the front for the next lesson huh!")
Thursday's evening court games, soles pounding concrete, the texture of rubber and dust.
Friday's bitter expresso over ice, and Lissie's 'Ihaven'tfinishmytuitionhomeworkleh!'s.

AND THEN THE WEEKENDS BABY!

The only saving grace, TGIF LIKE NEVER BEFORE.
Econs waiting for me, CIAO.

Happy Valentines' Day

2007-02-15T23:15:00.000+08:00

...And did I mentioned I love each and everyone of them to death?

Eleven is the lady's new favorite number. Thanks for a lovely Valentine'07, you darlings.

Oh Let The Good Times Roll

2007-02-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

It's a hectic week ahead, with pre-funfair preparations, Valentine day rush, birthday dinners, CNY shopping, jersey-scoutings, hair cut with Bestie and netball trainings. Thankfully, they are all fun and things that I am able to actually anticipate for. A slew of tests just came and gone, and hopefully, they won't be coming back for awhile. With the funfair, Valentines' Day and CNY coming up, its only right for us to goof off a little. (:

And I'm all excited about the crazy baking spree with my favorite girls on Friday noon, sleepover over at Rynnie's place on Friday night, the IJC funfair and the coming Sunday's afternoon with BFF. Life is good at the moment.

I reckoned I won't be popping in for quite some time until everything that needs to be settled is settled.

So in the meanwhile, my love to y'all. XOXO

P.S How should I cut my hair? Should I go for SHORT?

You're not the only one

2007-01-31T20:43:00.000+08:00

WHY IS ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY GETTING BANGS.

Chocolate Without The Guilt

2007-01-28T10:35:00.000+08:00

Yesterday afternoon was spent with my SELENGE SELENGE darling Rynnie, reading recipes wrongly and turning brownies into kuehs first, and than cakes. THREE ounces, my dear, not eight. That's what you get for writing everything down in neon yellow pen. (Nyahahahha) It was hilarious, how we were practically drowning in self-denial when the "brownies" came out. (It MUST be the sugar!) Tsk, but still, it was a delightful noon well spent.

Rushed downtown to meet the other half of The Elevens. Fish & Co with Joyce that hungry beggar pushing us all the way because she was so ravenous. And it was late night Bugis Street shopping, which leaves me very dissastisfied because I did not pounce on anything yet dammit. We're coming back girls! I swear.

Needless to say I had oodles doodles of G to the O O D time.

ELEVENS <3! God knows I love you more than my favourite pair of knickers. Study for Econs yo!

To you, Shahril

2007-01-24T18:08:00.000+08:00

It's your eighteenth birthday, Ril. Finally, your age is catching up with your looks. This is the big brother I never had, he protects me from assholes and I protect him from whiny annoying minahs. (:
He is the guy who never minded my "fucks" because hell, he made those the staple of his every conversations. He is the man that I cheated Math test with and got our asses chewed by Tan KS. He is the guy who was there to hear me out during chalet night, when I felt like crap, never ever judging, but always supporting and helping me demolish the entire bucket of Rocky Road/French Vanilla ice cream along the way. He was the one who got pissed off when I got drunk in school one day, and I'm the one he always calls/text late at night when sorrow got the better of him. He is the guy who rolls his eyes when I proclaim everyone obsessed with me, but always always agreeing just to make me happy. HAHA. He is the one who gossips endlessly with me by the stairs after school, and the one who bitches happily about everyone with moi.

Because he is my Shahril Aziz aka brotherdearest. (:

Happy happy birthday, big guy.
You know you are loved.
____________________________________

Xcountry today, I ran hard enough to clinch myself a medal. I'm happy enough.

Bullet to the Head

2007-01-23T11:33:00.000+08:00

How many pages have you torn out of your diary, because they were too dangerous to keep?

Skipped school today.

It's only January and I'm already doing this, Heaven forbid. Mondays were always physically exhausting, due to mornings runs, afternnon PE runs and evening trainings. For some reason, yesterday was especially tolling, and when you're on the bus, wiped out and stinking to high heavens, you start to think about the incomplete assignments that are all annoyingly due the next day... somehow the notion of going to school don't exactly get you jumping with joy.

I promised myself I won't do this, but it's always harder than you think it is.

Through Glass

2007-01-20T15:49:00.000+08:00

"save room for a moment to be with me
save room for my love save a little
save a little for me
won't you save a little
save a little for me."

I have an alarmingly steep pile of assignments long past overdue, but am at absolutely no inclincation to touch any with a ten foot pole. It's been a long week, and I feel so emotionally, physically and mentally drained. Tell me how it feels to have someone stick a straw in you and suck you of all your energy and I will tell you how I feel at this very moment.

If it weren't for the sillest bunch of friends that gets me going, I would probably be sorely tempted to skip mondays all the way to fridays, every week of the rest of my J2 existence. This is how bad it gets, and it's only the first month. Holy hell, I cannot bloody wait for meaningless fun and CNY to goof off.

Cross country next week and too much cake with Bestfriend yesterday, I'm off for a good run now.

P.S Links and Archives at the bottom, don't get your panties in a bunch.

For the IJ team

2007-01-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

IJ ballers, this is the jersey Kat, Eileen and me saw at Queenstown the other day. The design is relatively new, (it came out about a month ago) and it's dri-fit, just like the rest of the Adidas jersey kind of tops. But Queensway didn't sell it in bulk and Kat managed to locate a supplier in Bugis who did. But he will only hold it until TOMORROW before he sells it to the public. So I need you guys to agree/disagree fast so we can collect the money and purchase the tops by tomorrow. It's at $45 each. We might be able to get it cheaper if we buy it in bulks. But everyone just bring $45 just in case aye?

And honestly, this design is the most decent of the lot already. (: So SMS ME ASAP BY TONIGHT YO! Thanks.

Tze

Chins up

2007-01-12T23:45:00.000+08:00

To my ELEVENS,

"If you reached the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on!"

We will stick this out together, you and me and P4-3.

XOXO

Right out of mouth

2007-01-06T18:31:00.000+08:00

"A papercut, small as it is, if you think about it, is the most annoying and painful thing in the world. Maybe because paper is technically not supposed to harm you. When you do get hurt by things that are not supposed to hurt you, it fucking hurts. It's some sort of betrayal, perhaps. And its the same with all small things. Sometimes the smaller the matter, the more it pain it inflicts. Because small wounds can get bigger and fester and sore over time. Because big wounds ARE supposed to hurt. You don't feel it as much. That's what makes the pain from smaller wounds greater in comparison. How many times have you felt hurt just because of a small action from someone you trusted, like asking you to go away, even though the intention to hurt you was not there? Small wounds hurt because other people cannot see them, so they don't know you're hurt. In a way."
Rhys

Happy New Year

2007-01-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

"Did you ever look at a picture of yourself and see a stranger in the background? It makes you wonder how many people have pictures of you, how many moments of other people's lives we've been in. Were we part of someone's life when their dream came true, or were we there when their dreams died? Did we keep trying to get in, as if we were somehow destined to be there? Or did the shot take us by surprise? Just think, you could be a big part of someone else's life, and not even know it."

Thank You

2006-12-30T13:24:00.000+08:00

2006 is coming to a close, and it had been yet another eventful dramatic year. But now, like many of the old architecture around the world, it has to step down and make way for a newer, snazzier and fresher successor, 2007. But I can never forget what these past 12 months have bought me. Tears, angst, fury, laughter, love, friendship and the many in between. Every week a story, everyday an episode. It has been a hell of a year, people.

We became stronger friends, weaker friends, drifted apart, almost got together, almost broke up, had tiffs, made up, seen some people ugly side emerge, ostracize some, form strong bonds, made memories, formed routines and traditions, made nights special and made conversations unforgettable. With every “we”, it’s a different set of people. Some vitally important, some going to be and some diminishingly so.

There are many people who made 2006 so awesome. This is going to be bitch to write, but I’m going to park my ass down for a long while and do some long overdue thanksgiving.

Here goes nothing, (and I know some of you sorry asses are just going to scroll down and look for your name, NYAHAHA, but ‘tis the nature of the human ego, go figure.)

#1. My family, who I’ve been thanking for the past 16 years and will never stop thinking for the rest of my life. Simply because they are who they are, and for loving me for who I was, am and will be.

#2. Pris, for making the term “Best Friend” all that it’s knocked up to be and more.

#3. Lisda, for the bus 965 rides home and MSN conversations. For always putting up with my psycho bitchfits and always being there to hear me rant, whine, curse, confess and vent without ever going nuts. (I never knew how you managed it, but I’m glad you did.) And more importantly, for your rare trust in me.

#4. Eileen, for the long SMS rants, pre-trainings Yoshinoya lunches, that 4nations cup episode, and always, always, always the first one there when I’m in a piss-poor mood, and for being that special friend.

#5. Khairyn, for the long bus ride from West Coast Park to Bedok during camp, your house and food pantry as a sanctuary for us hungry beggars, for transferring from AJC to here, for the best is yet to come because we’ve yet to grown closer. But count on it, babe.

#6. The Kgang; Jasmin, Karen, Carol, Yvonne and JieLin. For their comforting familiarity and for being so wonderfully UNCHANGED and steadfastly reliable in this mad, mad world outside. And most of all, for making me believe that some good things in life never change and some friends always last

#7. My sevens; Han, Tong, Jying, Xying, Mel, Caro, Ling. For never failing to make me laugh, brightening up my day even when everything else seem so bleak sometimes. For mahjong days, neoprints hysteria and good food binges.

#8. LysAdriMingTzeFlor; for the Pizza Huts, Sakuras, Café Galilees, and laughing until my sides split moments, and being the reason why I love coming to school so unnaturally much. And for everything that I've already said in one of earlier entries.

#9. Valerie and Meihui, for a bloody good first three months of my JC life.

#10. My ELEVENS from 0623A; Eileen, SwuJuan, Lisda, Kahlai, Cindy, RuiShan, Khairyn, Flora, Joyce and WeiMing, for alliance against you-know-who, for our endless gossips, for the cam-whoring moments, for teachers’ day celebration, for the bangin’ Aces workout, for the many more fun that is yet to come.

#11. RuiShan, SwuJuan and Jiawei, for the best PW group anyone could ask for. For staying up late editing PI, GPP and whatsnot, for rushing in the Libraria together putting together the WR, for meetings that end up in watching Miss Swan and reading others’ blogs, for finding Jiawei everytime he got lost somehow or another, for supporting each other through out OP. You made PW not as hellish as it actually is.

#12. My Sixers Clique; Pris, Ril, Bah and Qz. For nights that last too short and gossips about everyone else, for the unexpected friendship that appeared outta nowhere, for being the THE class clique of 46'2005.

#13. IJC netball, for making trainings something to look forward to, for EOY netball camp 2006, and for the new friendships made.

#14. Knights of the round table, first three months; Kim, PeiShan, Eileen, Lisda, Khairyn, Rochester, Valerie, WeiMing. For being the first thing I like about IJC, for badminton sessions and East Coast Park.

#15. Jeenson and Ben for the good ol’ wisecracks and bullshit that never change.

#16. Jiayi, for making me want to kill her and save her at the same time.

#17. 0623A, for being a hell of a class and for being able to go up together next year.

#18. Ya Kun Kaya Toast for inventing Silkyz Barley, my everyday must-have fix.

#19. For the love y’all have been giving me all the time, even when I’m sometimes too self-centred to feel it. THANK YOU.

And I hope 2007 turns out great for each and everyone of you.

Yours truly,
Tze

Post Bangkok

2006-12-29T11:25:00.000+08:00

The funniest thing happened in Dreamworld, Bangkok. A group of giggling thai girls asked my fifteen year old kid brother to take a photo with them. Keyword: With.

(Ruishan, are you reading this?)

Other than that, Bangkok was relatively uneventful this time round. We rode the MRT there with untourist-like ease and effortlessly translate Thai Baht into Singapore dollars like it was second nature already. And it's getting a bit old really, the cheap shopping and high pitched thai voices. I think I'm getting bored of good ol' bangkok. Time for somewhere new, and scarily foreign.

Alright, I'm down with Gastric flu right now and I'm not in top form so I think I will just end off here. I hope you people had a marvellous christmas.

And thank y'all for all the christmas cards I found stuffed in my mailbox when I returned home. I feel your warmth and love yo.

Now, I'm off to watch TEEN TITANS! (:

Hasta la Vistas

2006-12-23T10:30:00.000+08:00

A long naggy post today before I fly for my second home, Bangkok. (Honestly, what is it with Thailand and my parents?)

Headed back to USS to watch the friendly against Anderson Sec. But we were laughing around too much to really take note of who won and whatsnot anyhow. Thereafter, a match against the juniors and it was an easy win over them. (Translate: Sound thrashing) Ego booster, I know. And as usual, the drunken revelry and horseplaying around. I posted a few, because the rest of them are too stupid to be aired in public.

Friday night! Eils's birthday cum christmas somethingoranother. And as the photo depticts, the night was all about pizzas all around, and Rui's sexy ass. (:
And startling revelations, off-key karaokes, too much junk food, cam-whoring and chocolate mud cakes.

Lisda, your presence was sorely missed!

And so is Joyce's. But it was still a roll-lickin' good time, as it always is with the dearest elevens. Next year is going to be goooood with us us around.

So here are the wishes from me,

Happy Birthday EILS MY LOVELY. Your never ending antics and the ugly faces you pull. Your indispensable friendship and rock steady presence. Your mega-watt smile and the way you brighten the room and liven the party. The very essential of 0623A and of course, us 11s. Remember the insane taxi driver late night home to Woodlands, remember the long long sms rants between us, remember the many more that are yet to come. You know very well you're loved beyond words. (:

And not forgetting,
Happy birthday MEL you lovable kuku. Sorry we couldn't spend your special day with you but we promise to make it up to you soon. (: Remember the hysterical mahjong days, the Marche binges, Cafe Cartel's bread and the honeydew-in-mouth private joke. Dearest girl, you are a laugh and a half. And I still love you to death, silly woman. Happy belated birthday!

And a special word to bestie who dropped in near midnight and it was a good long talk in my room. And THANK YOUUUU for your gorgeous gift, I cannot love it enough. It amazing how you always know what I want. And also, it was worth all my effort asking around for that expression on your face when you opened yours, and your endless admiring into the mirror! Laughs. All my love, xoxo.

Meeting Karen and the girls at the airport couple of hours from now for catching up and the best part is that I won't be going home from the airport wisfully tonight. (:

Before I depart, here's a sufficiently sincere adieu from yours truly,

Keep it jumping, my loves.

We Fly High

2006-12-18T21:52:00.000+08:00

Highlight of the day: Thrash talk with Eileen, Kat and Merelda at some neighbourhood kopitiam with the rain trying to bring the place down.

And,
Happy Feet with the Shahril(s), with long lazy talks before and after. Thanks boys.

P.S I think our attention seeking mismatched laces are omfglookatusdon'twelookhip COOL. Let's do the Beep Test in style this thursday, babes.

Grab Your Own Groove

2006-12-17T21:11:00.000+08:00

Friday morning was bloody good with us winning MJC easily in a friendly. It's all looking up for the team now. We just got to grab hold and hang on. (:

Open Season and Secret Recipe with the boys on friday afternoon. The flick was ho-hum, the cakes were mmmm. Helloooo, ten pounds.

Thank you for the good noon spent, boys. Let's do it again soon, but with the rest of the gang along next time.

AND THIS IS FOR YOU, LISDA DEAREST. (:

Saturday was put to good waste at the Expo. There was absolutely nothing at the Nike sales, or maybe we went a tad too late. All the so called good stuffs were gone. Ah well, I didn't need anything anyway.

Met the girls at ten toobloodyearlyinthemorning am for brunch and a lazy idling day. Thank youuuu, Jas. The cookies were sweet, both metaphorically and literally. (: Your presence was sorely missed. And so is Carol's.

But it was still, nevertheless, the usual good time with the ladies. It was the chats and random questions by Yvonne, the freezing corner on the sixth floor, the retarded photos and the computer/mouse jokes that made the day.

VCDs marathon this wednesday and the Airport this coming weekend with them, I'm all alight with anticipation.

And now signing off,

Typically Yours.

Your Whistle Blows

2006-12-13T20:27:00.000+08:00

Before I start, here's a quick update.

It was the kid's 15th birthday yesterday and it was good food that night. But I still feel that the Pandan cake would've been a better choice than boring old chocolate. But hey, what the birthday boy wants, the birthday boy gets.

Its been 15 long years with the annoying bugger, ramming into my room to irritate me just for the hell of it. Always eating the last bar of candy and leavng the bathroom in such a state, bickering with me for computer time and "borrowing" my iPod. But sometimes he's just funny enough to make up for it, and in all truth, he really is a good brother most of the time.

Happy 15th brithday, lil bro. Now grow up a bit and BE A MAN. (:

Now back to today,

It's going to be slew of consecutive friendly matches until Friday. Although it was a draw with my dear old alma mater today, I think we might just be on the verge of getting the hang of it, so let's all get the DRIVE, girls. (:

On a random note, it feels funny to be hearing my opponent screaming, "GO UNTIY!". How do you exactly describe that particular feeling, I'm not certain. But anyhoots, I will be the one screaming 'GO IJ!" now. Laughs.

The rest of the noon was spent vegging out with Rynnie and Lissie in school and PizzaHut. It's just one of those simple mundane things you wouldn't think twice about doing after school coupla months back, but so achingly enjoyable when it hasn't been done for such a long time and you've been missing the "good ol' times".

Hello rynnie, I know you're excited about the "I Never" game. I am too.
And no, I still don't want to play Carrom. (:

And what made my day: It's great to get back to familiar grounds with Lissie again.

And digressing a bit, I really need to get my x'mas shopping done and my elbow still stings like @#$%! hell.

Till death do us part,
Yours truly.

I Bet You Think This Song is About You

2006-12-11T16:07:00.000+08:00

It's a stormy Monday afternoon and the weather just about describes my piss poor mood to a T. Khairyn knows why I'm in such a foul deposition. The rain lashes against the window panes, punishing and agressive. Helping me to vent. I offered a silent thank you upward.

A quick update before I kill my time playing mindless games with annoying animations and blinding graphics that turns intellect into mush,

1. Saturday night saw me ranting to bestfriend over bitter coffee and zesty mango tea after her work at Paragon's Coffee Bean. As always, and I'm not sure how but maybe just the little knack bestfriends have, she managed to make me feel a lot better. Thank you, Pris. And I cannot wait for you to come over and cook dinner with my mom for my family, seeing how I am pathetically incapable of even boiling hot water. After this, I will bet my favourite knickers that mother dearest would be probably itching to switch daughters.

2. Collected my pay on Sunday with Yvonne. It was relatively substantial and I am utterly charmed by the people working there. They are all practically family, and it's lovely working for people I adore. Chatted with Jeanne for quite awhile and left but not before promising to do the next IT fair with them too. Thereafter, Vonne bought x'mas presents for her siblings at Parco and it was too cute. We hit Vivocity next and instead of settling my x'mas obligations like I intended, I splurged on myself, indecently I should say. We spent the rest of the afternoon doing what we girls do best, shopping shopping and... you get the idea.

Oh and by the way my darling elevens, I saw our favourite topic at Vivo. And Joyce's idea was seriously tempting. (:

Dinner at Secret Recipe was heaven and I think my cake tasted better, Vonne. HAHAH. Anyhoots, it was a whole lot of retail fun and Yvonne made it even better with her company. We're meeting up soon for Happy Feet and I cannot wait. Until than, you know you're loved.

.
.
.
And hell, I am still miffed over what happened. Macs breakfast on wednesday with my girls and it's been way too long since I dished with Rynnie dearest. I cannot wait.

Live every moment like it's your last.

2006-12-10T17:16:00.000+08:00

When you actually think about it, and stop moaning about how the lunar new year was just over and now its reindeers and santa all over again, a year is actually a damned long time. It's three hundred and sixty five days for bonds to be made or broken, rumours to be created or spread
and reputations to be lifted or sunk. And as the days crawl deceptively by, you look back and realised that your existence as a friend, a teammate, or a lover has already been slowly but surely, forgotten. One year back, everybody's probably tearing over seperation and I-will-never-find-another-friend/team/class/clique-as-good-as-yous but speed up a little, and you will see now how those good ol' times has already been shoved under all the new memories and new "good ol' times". Your name erased for new names to enter, your photos taken down to make space for the new people. No, I'm not being bitter, it's a fact of life. It's a cycle, everyone has to put up or shut up. The world doesn't stop functioning just because you're not there anymore.

And of course, you yourself probably forgotten half of the past too, or simply enjoyng the present too much to sit down and think. Your new friends are the loveliest bunch of people you have ever known, but wasn't it you who said the same thing about your secondary school friends two years ago? And what makes you think you will be saying the same thing about the same people a couple of years from now?

So here I say, treasure what you have now. Make it deep. Crape diem and all that pishposh. Because you never know where you might end up a year from now. Make it good while it last. Because once its over, things changed. You can never relieve those good ol' days anymore, all you are left to do is to reminsce. And bitter is always stronger in the bittersweet nostalgia you get when you recollect. Due to the fact that you can never live it all over again. You only get to live once, make every chapter a bestseller, make every line a quote. Make your book of life a frigging Harry Potter.

Suddenly I See

2006-12-05T23:40:00.000+08:00

Today, I brought my brother to Carl's Jr for dinner and he had himself the superstar upsized meal. After watching him practically inhaling the entire monster of a burger down, along with a heaping pile of onion rings, he crumpled his napkin and informed me that it was Tuesday and it was half-priced waffles at Gelare's, his treat, and the corner escalator will be the shortest route up.

You would think after 4 years since he hit puberty, I would be used to this. But the amazement never ceases.

Sun kissed

2006-12-04T22:58:00.000+08:00

Work was deathly exhausting, but very very lucrative. As soon as I get my pay, I'm going to give the retail economy a boost.

Sorry for the retarded update, girls. But Sentosa was awesome, and your company made it so. The awful sunburnts and deep flushes on our cheeks were testaments to that. The sun was gloriously blazing, and I am satisfactorily a shade darker I reckon.

Sentosa, it's been a swinging good time. I will be back soon.

I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor

2006-11-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

It's been coupla days since we caught up with each other, and since I'm in an assbummed mood and have absolutely no inclination of elaborating on how were my two days. Here are the highlights of the game:

1. Got drunk and wasted on Ben's BBQ due to a really really awfully stupid game in which I was bloody unlucky, and to think I swore never to go near alcohol again ever since that nightmarish June'05 night. Jeenson and Justin were sweethearts and sent teetering tottering me to my front door before thinking it's safe to leave me unattended.

2. I burnt practically every inch of my skin in Sentosa today. Extra crispy. And probably shot my chances of getting skin cancer through the roof.

But in any event, both days were bloody well spent. I had an obscene amount of fun with the boys and girls respectively for both days. So far, they've filled my long holidays with enough craziness to last me through a hellish 2007 when I'm sweating for my As. Now, everything would be really be perfect if only my darling 0623A would meet up soon, because I miss my 11 jumping beans. B&Js with my sixers clique soon, cannot wait.

And in case you're wondering, no I didn't hit the books yet. Shoot me please, I'm going to perish two months later.

Stuck

2006-11-23T21:55:00.000+08:00

I'm starting to feel the constraints of this blog. Maybe it's due to my own expectations, or maybe to yours. I am not really certain, but all I know is the walls are looming closer together whenever I post up an entry in Tale-Dujour. Suffocating. I have this crave or maybe an inner cry to revamp, and maybe even switch blog host. Livejournal, Xanga, just something else. Blogger isn't giving me the release I need anymore. It's like an old Nokia, overhyped and overrated, not to mention grossly commonplace.

Or maybe its just me. I've lost the ability and also the desire to piece my thoughts into neat senetences and a proper passage. Sometimes, no, lately most of the times, all I want to do is jot my day down in broken lines, like random thoughts. Like how a proper diary should be. My mind jumping all over the place, and every word don't have to be properly arranged in bloody coherence. I don't want to have to make like a secondary student and dutifully write a frigging composition everytime I logged into Blogger. It's driving me up the wall.

Colour me crazy, but I want my entries to look retarded to you. Like you can't make heads nor tails of what I've written sometimes. Abit nonsenical, abit whimsical. No more dull, straight, disgustingly understandable entries. Zilch. I want random, I want babble, I want rubbish. Capisce?

Should I stick it out till the end of this year? Make it meaningful of some sort, like closing a door and opening another. Waiting until 2007 comes, before changing blog. Or should I just shift now? To the heck with meaningfulness and appopriate timing, I'm doing it my way or the highway. But all in all, like it or not, I'm definitely saying Goodbye to Tale-dujour.blogspot soon. It's just a conflict between the impulsive side of me and the idealist in me.

Tell me what you think.

Fix You

2006-11-23T11:25:00.000+08:00

She blew on the glass that seperates her from the passing trees and grey highways. Her breathe fogged the clear sheet in the biting Febuary chill. She drew a new face on her condensation, this time with crinkled eyes, just like her grandpa when he laughs. She missed her grandpa, him with his old tweed coat and cigar smoke. They hugged their goodbyes this morning before her mom hustled her in the car, about six hours ago. She wasn't sure why but he hugged her tighter and longer than usual, and there was a sheen in his eyes she didn't like.

She shifted uncomfortably on her seat, the leather seatbelt cutting painfully into her shoulders.

This time imperfect

2006-11-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

You're cynical and harshly unforgiving on the little mistakes people inevitably make. You are always quick to judge and criticise the very quirks and character traits that make him him. It was that one incident, and now we all can't seem to get back what used to be. The friendly camaderie, the guiless joy we used to have every moment and all the you-got-my-back and i've-got-yours. Now its you-got-my-back and i'll-stab-yours. This isn't the way its supposed to be. I think he had done his penace, can we just forget the past and stop bitching about his actions everytime he turns his back? I'm sick of being wrecked with guilt every single time I look at him. Bloody hell, he holds us in such high regards, and trusts us wholeheartedly. Egads, I'm disgusted with myself. Let's drop it.

The human mind is scary and twisted.
Its a cruel world out there, how I wish I can duck under my covers and just make it go away, like those shadows on the floor.

Wind It Up

2006-11-18T11:31:00.000+08:00

Wednesday night saw me with my sixers roaming Vivocity. It was Coffee Bean and plush seats to spend the 9pm away. We went onboard this docked ship which contains nothing interesting but provided a superb location for our narcisstic tendencies.

And I uploaded a few because Blogger is being difficult once again.

As Ril said, our nights together are always too short, and time always passes too quickly. But nevertheless, it was the usual familiar comfort they provide that made my day. The way they completely understand my twisted personality, and how they seemed to know instinctively that I was troubled. Like that old nursery tinkle, old friends are truly gold.

I cannot wait for our Ben&Jerry's meet up soon. And in the meanwhile, you know you're loved.

Fluff

2006-11-17T11:44:00.000+08:00

Material Girls is so full of fluff and vapid nothingness that it will insult any female with the slighest sense of intelligence. The whole movie was about showcasing the Duff sisters in designer togs and maybe to take a cheap shot at the likes of Paris Hilton. What a waste of seven fifty and two good hours.

I should have listened to Sling and catch 007 instead.

Put your records on,

2006-11-13T12:12:00.000+08:00

tell me your favourite song.

Netball camp was as exhausting as it was fun, and I will talk about it soon when I get hold of the photos. My muscles are screaming bloody murder, the simple act of sitting down requires a herculean effort and about a thousand winces. Just laughing can kill you. But nevertheless, it was worth it. (:

Because of my temporarily inmobility, I had to cancel today's meet up with K. So here I am, my ass parked in front of the computer, playing old Pokemon games. No more nasty exams to study for, no more of the cursed PW. Just pure self-indulgence, can you spell H-E-A-V-E-N?

Happy Birthday Rui

2006-11-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

Wrapped up on OP yesterday and that was the end of the exhausting all-nighters, frantic rush to get reports printed, crazy deadlines, useless advices and endless edits of the written report. The presentation went relatively well, considering how the projector refused to start up at first and the volume almost defeaned everyone. But my dear members managed to pull themselves together and gave it their best shot. It's all over now people, so lay off the caffeine aye?

Lunch at Compass Point with Merelda was fun, we roamed the mall for a couple of hours before I had to buy the cake for the birthday girl. The silly girl did not want to go home and in the process threw Kahlai and the rest into a frenzy, trying to get me to meet somewhere in the shopping mall without being too conspicious. And thus, I ended up at the airy corner beside the elevators like a lonely deluded outcast with a cake. But all was worth it, for Rui. In

terestingly enough, we were caught be the mall security for lighting candles in the mall, for fear of setting off the water sprinklers. Well I say you only live once, nothing like being marched down to the security office and being reprimanded for intentionally trying to set the mall on fire, threatening to bring in the police to brighten your teenage years. I think most of us were stifling laughter whilst being scolded, and they took it as cheek when all we were thinking was how surreal the whole situation was.

Anyway, enough talking. Here are a few of the photos that night;

The birthday girl. Eighteen burning candles.

There were only two of us because Lisda couldnt make it, Khairyn was sick and Flora was apparently missing.

Resident celebrity figure.

The birthday girl, looking pretty. And me looking like something the cat dragged in.

It was mad fun all in all, as it always is with this eleven crazy people. I'm looking forward to Sentosa, my loves. We are going

And once again, HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUI! We adore you.

Met up with Jiayi today for dinner at the Horizon. It was great catching up with her life, I felt like I didn't talk to her in years, but the easy flow of conversation between us was not yet lost. We yakked and yakked till we were both exhausted but nevertheless, thoroughly satisifed. It was lovely meeting up with you, Yi. I cannot wait for next tuesday's Pizza with the boys.

Its the holidays, time to do some serious catching up with those beloved ones in my life.

Retail Therapy...

2006-11-07T23:05:00.000+08:00

...is God's compensation for women when He gave us menstruation, pregnancy and cellulite.

Have you ever felt the rush when you see a designer item you like marked down to a quarter of its orinigal price? And in your size too.

It's practially orgasmic.

Different friends, same kinda love.

2006-11-06T09:06:00.000+08:00

Friday's Vivocity's trip with Shahril(s) & Pris was cancelled because Pris was down with fever all of sudden, but I'm guessing it's probably due to over-exhaustion from the constant late-nightouts and lack of sleep. But all is good, because we will meet up next week soon enough. But still, that day didn't turn out to be a disappointment because my lovely classgirls decided to troop down to CoffeeBean for some heavy sugar rushes and heavy gossip. Attention to all CB fans, from Monday to Friday, after 6pm, all cakes are given a 50% discount. (Tong, are you reading this?) Naturally, we bought several of those diet-busting confection to share around. I had the most fabulous time, to dish about classmates, laugh over Eils' s kooky games, and plan many many clique/class outings over brownies, apple crumbles, cheesecake, and frappes all around. These girls made my friday good and well spent. (:

And Sunday saw me spending the day with my sevens at Cafe Cartel. And here, I shall let the photos do the talking.

And there's me, intently studying the menu. And Tong is so in love with the glossy magazine-like menu that she actually contemplated on sneaking one home.

The FOOD. The girls loved the ribs, but I wasn't really into pork so there was nothing much to wow about. The lagsane wasn't bad but the supreme platter was a let-down. But the freebie crusty bread was good! Call me a cheapo, but I crave the simple stuff. (:
Tong & Han.
And the craziest dish around, some sort of viking whatsoever. I cannot really remember the name, but this monster is made up of 7 scoops of stretchy vanilla and chocolate ice-cream, dozens of macademia cookies, and drizzled with hot fudge. Can you spell, DECADENCE? It was meant for 4, so stated in the menu. But we hd 5 girls, and we had difficulty finishing it. So be warned. But it was the highlight of the entire course.
Mel told me the stretchier the texture of the ice cream was, the more fat content it has, just my luck to have someone taking courses that specializes in this kind of area.

We took a photo like this, because nobody wanted to show their bulging tummies.
With the sevens, there's always time for narcissm.

Ended off the day hanging out at Han's house, watching She's The Man and looking through secondary school photos. It was bittersweet nostalgia, I remember those times with these girls, it was all fun and laughter. Until now, I never had a bad time with them before. (Knock on wood!)

Its all so bizzare how we ended up together, seeing how we all come from different classes and different CCAs. But sometimes, the best things in life never needs a proper explaination.

Musing

2006-11-02T20:44:00.000+08:00

Life's abit like those glossy female magazines you secretly sneaked a peek at when your mother's out grocery shopping when you were 12.

Magazines like CLEO, ELLE, HERWORLD, FEMALE. These magazines seemed to have your life neatly categorzied under many sections. Your fashion phases, when you went through trying to look like a pink fluffball falling under Fashion Don't. Your prom night, falling under a Fashion Do. (For now, at least.) The time when you spilled bubble tea on the MRT and the the pearls went rolling down the aisle and the time when you were running to grab the best shower stall in a co-ed camp and your Hello Kitty panties slip out of your clutch and onto the floor of the crowded hall, all under Embarassing Moments. The many insecurities you harboured the past years, about your figure, about your friends, about your boyfriend(s); it's all in the Q&A and Dear Aunt Kellys.

Imagine, if someone really did made a magazine of your life, wouldn't that make for an interesting read? (:

Who says only dirty old men wear white singlets?

2006-10-30T20:50:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya

2006-10-25T21:52:00.000+08:00

It has always been a favourite pastime of mine; people-watching. Only at this time of the year, it gets a lot more interesting.

I like the Hari Raya festival. I always make it a point to get out of house, and simply feast my eyes on the explosion of colours. The malay traditional costumes are simply breathtaking. Creamy whites, brillant golds and silvers, velvety blacks and browns, lovely soft lilac and rose pastels, striking emeralds and sapphires. A smorgasboard of colours, sometimes it gets too a little too much for the eyes. But 'tis such a pleasant visual strain.

Their dresses never fail to make every woman look like a princess. (Nudges Khairyn!) Those long graceful outfits, some painstakingly embroidered with intricate designs, some bejeweled with sparkling rhinestones, some mysteriously veiled with a wisp of chiffon. It hints of the curves that the silk hides, but yet never really revealing them. The femmine cut of the gown lends elegance to the wearer, and portrays grace. Can't you tell by now, how absolutely enamoured I am by the malay traditional costume? (:

It's always such a novelty to me, when I see families donning the same shade of colour. It warms the heart, to see such displays of family unity. You might not have it, but hell nobody will ever know from looking at your bloodkins. A cluster of purple, a flock of red. Teenage daughters looking gorgeous in peacock blue, younger brothers looking equally adorable in the same shade. Some think it's humliating, but I for one, admire the togetherness the costumes displays. If you ain't afraid of wearing your class tee shirt with about 20 other people, why should you cower in shame wearing the same colour as your own blood? Come on, hold your head up high and walk a little straighter, you should be proud. Do you think the other races can do the same? Not very likely. Be proud of your culture, I would if I were you. Your culture is rich and your traditions are still not that long lost yet. It's something worth gloating.

Tell me, when the Lunar New Year rolls around, what are the chances you will be able to get a glimpse of a qipao or a cheongsam? Not very high. You can't really blame us either, the form-fitting oriental dress seem to be made for women with disgustingly perfect proportions. Flat chest, big ass or a tummy? Forget it. You will never look good. Admittedly, when one has the figure, the dress will look infinitely sexy. But tell me, how many women in the world has barbie-like silhouttes?

Oh well, you might call it a blessing in disguise. Because of our impossible traditional costumes, nobody ever wears it now. Hence, chinese new year is another excuse for us youths to spend daddy or mommy's bucks to get trendy new skirts, tops and the latest jeans. Don't get all self-righteous on me, you know that as well as I do. But hey, who's complaining? (:

Alright so I'm way digressing now. But veering back to topic, to all muslims out there, Selemat Hari Raya and wear your gorgeous clothes with pride! You've got the envy of the lady here.

P.S Lisda, Khairyn, Shahril(s) - I still want those photos!

Grammer, where art thou?

2006-10-23T21:54:00.000+08:00

Why do people like to say they are SADDED? Does that make sense to you? Fine if you're SAD, okay with me if you're sadder than sad, or even saddest. But you DO NOT become SADDED.
It's as if they have attained the optimum level of sadness in their lives, and felt that sad cannot justify their depression anymore and they go around wrecking the English language with words like SADDED. Bloody hell, you do not try to make an adjective a tense. That's like trying to wear plaid with stripes. It clashes. Dig up that old primary one grammer guide, you ought to be burying your face into the book and never coming out until you know the difference between a verb and an adjective.

If you think I sound like a prissy old maid of an english teacher with a rod up her ass, think again. Would you rather go around moaning to people that you are SADDED, and have them trying to stifle their snickers instead of doling out sympathy or would you rather express your unhappiness eloquently? Good God, I know you're broken inside and yadda bam bam, but at least retain a bit of your brain matter please.

Another day, another rant. It seems like the world is in abundance of things for the lady to be pissed off about.

A page out of Tim Burton's

2006-10-22T13:38:00.000+08:00

Stick Boy noticed that his Christmas tree looked healthier than he did.

Happy Birthday Adri

2006-10-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

The princess is finally seventeen. She with her wisecracks and megawatt smile. She with the silliest expressions and endless energy. The girl always seemed to know exactly when I'm not at my best, and never failed to cheer me up in some way. Love the times at Cafe Galilee, Pizza Hut and Banquet. Life in IJ is never as much fun without you around, sunshine. You're my one and only Khairyn Adriana, and always will be. You can never imagine how many times I asked myself what would have happened if you did not transfer back here. Life would be different and certainly not as fabulous. Happy happy 17th, darling.

I hope you enjoyed the surprise today, the cupcakes and the dinner. Although because of Lissie, Flora and I had to wander like foolish tourists around the blocks trying to find the bloody place to collect the cupcakes. But tt was the usual madness to be around you nuts. The times with you four dears are intoxicating and addictive, it got me hooked and wanting more. So get your act together, people, and GEL! Laughs.

P.S I'm PMSy right now. Not in the mood to talk much. Good night, readers.

This is the 123rd post...

2006-10-16T21:13:00.000+08:00

and when I'm up for the 456th post, I'll let you know.

We started out with the intention to meet up for breakfast at Coffee Bean's and heading for school after that. But Eils, was outstandingly late for about an hour and half (Clap for her, please) and by the time she cabbed down, it was already 9. Impulse is a dangerous little thing, it led us to get tickets for 1045's John Tucker Must Die. But every cent of that 7bucks spent was bloody worth it, not only because the movie was my kind of flick, crammed full of uber itchiness, fluffy romances and beautiful people, but the movie theatre had a grand total of three viewers; us. Put three giggling girls into an empty theatre with a gorgeous lead actor, it doesn't take much to guess what will ensue, does it. I will tell you the answer, but my throat still hurts from all the screaming.

The flick left us all swooning and sighing, and Eils had to rush back to school to meet up her PW mates. The transition was a tad blurry, I had no idea how it happened, but somehow Flor and me met up with Lissie (silly girl ditched us in the morning because she overslept and ended up moaning about nobody is going to watch John Tucker with her anymore) to work out at Yishun's gym. I have never been in a public gym before and it was an experience, with people milling around and sour-faced instructors glaring surly at you as if you were about to lug the treadmill and run. But it was overall fun, because of the company. Working out with friends is definitely better than working alone.

So now I'm back home, wiped from the day's shimgles and my folks thought I had an exhausting day in school. Tsk, I hope my conscience would not eat me up alive. Anyhoots, back to school tomorrow and ProjectWork is ready to screw me in the ass all over again.

Good Night, people.

Good Morning

2006-10-16T07:24:00.000+08:00

It's 7.18 and I'm still in my jammies, wasting my existence away in front of this marvellous piece of technology called the computer. School's still on today, don't get you panties up ina bunch. I'm skipping school in the morning for Coffee Bean's breakfast with Flor and Eils. And my parents are in blissful oblivion because they are still sleeping their asses off.

This is a meaningless bigmouthnobrain entry simply because I'm bitching hungry and nobody interesting is online. But alright, I'm going to be late in meeting them and all, so toodles darlings. And classmates, if you're reading this, have fun in school! Rat on us, and thou shall perish.

Big hooters

2006-10-15T20:51:00.000+08:00

The definition of junior means being smaller than the usual size. Either the people think it's such a hoot to pull off a prank on the customers, or their language just plain sucked. Because the burgers in Carl's Junior is anything but. In fact, it's like the motherlode of burgers. The big momma.

Tong, Mel and I almost gagged ourselves to death trying to fnish two burgers between three of us. But people, the burgers are heaven. It blows your diet completely and absolutely, but damned its good. Burger King and Macdonald's cannot hold a candle to the mighty one. I jest you not. And the onion rings are madness.

Even SHE thinks its good,

But from the looks of it, I will bet my non-anorexic ass that she has never tried any of the burgers before. Or she probably scarfed it down and threw it up when the crew weren't looking.

If Americans eat like this everyday, it's no wonder more than half of their people are overweight. One burger alone is probably enough to clog up your arteries.

And now, I'm off to the gym to burn away all those beef.

P.S It was fun today, girls. It was great seeing you again and the shopping was marvellous. Meet up soon and good luck for the first day of school!

The Magic

2006-10-11T23:38:00.000+08:00

I scrambled to find words to describe that moment, digging deep into my apparently fluff-filled frontal lobe. That moment magic, was not worthy of words, somehow or rather, that was what I felt. But Lisda changed my mind when she offered me this quote :

"As happens sometimes a moment settled and hovered and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."

Fits like old washed out jeans we all love to wear on sloppy days.

Thrashing

2006-10-09T20:33:00.000+08:00

PW : 8
TZE : 0

I'm fighting a losing battle over here.

Happy Mid Autumn

2006-10-06T22:28:00.000+08:00

It was hard to decipher exactly what that particular sensation falls under. Was it a giddy joy, a mindless ecstasy or maybe a wee bit too much nescafe? And you will try your utmost to locate this feeling, but it slips and slides, like water through cupped palms. You squeezed your fingers tightly together, but futile would best describe your effort. You will always feel like you are on the verge of tasting that sweet taste of knowledge, of the know-who, the know-how, but somehow, something tips you back and its back to square one all over again. The frustration of not being able to identify it but only being able to experience in the briefest nano-second is hair-wrenchingly vexing, yes. (:

Sometimes, you crave to plunge down into that bottomless recess and yank that damned thing out. Shake it by its shoulders and demand to ask what the hell it actually is. so the next time you ever crave to feel like this again, you might have a chance to conjour it up. But these little tingles and slivers of sensations are intangible, something like the shadow of your midnight silhoutte, or the tiny circles of rainbows in pools of raindrops. Blink and you will miss it, try to grasp it and it's gone. All you can do is pause and stare, stop and concentrate. Savour that fleeting moment, don't try to understand it, but just feel, for you will never come this close again.